January 11, 2015

Is it really an award if you don't win anything other than the opportunity to answer invasive questions about yourself?

Because I'm a complete narcissist avid blogger, I just love blogger awards that involve questionnaires and surveys in which I am invited to overshare and brag and self-promote. When I get to use links to previous posts and recycled pictures, well, all the better! #pageviews! Thank you so much, Marie, for presenting me with this outstanding framework for self-expression that will undoubtedly serve as a catalyst for my blogging resurgence. Or not.

On to my responses to the invasive questions:

1) What is my current health-related goal?

Get freakishly skinny. This IS health-related...there were no parameters established as far as positive or negative impact on health. My goal is to lose 15 lbs. and get my BMI down to 17. I figure my third place finish at the Head of the Charles is setting me up for an Olympic coxswain bid. I have 12 months to get grossly underweight all in the name of Olympic glory. Nothing like a self-destructive overreach to pump blog readership! I did this back in 1992 by following a steady diet of jellybeans and Honeycomb cereal and a 45-mile a week running program. I lost 20 lbs. in 10 weeks and still didn't get selected. I think it was because I wasn't sleeping with the right people. 

2) What is my biggest irrational fear?

I suppose my biggest irrational fear right now is that I'll blow the wrong person in my quest for Olympic glory (see above). 

A balloon is probably not selecting the team :(

3) Do I enjoy wrapping presents?

I like wrapping and UNwrapping presents. I actually used to be a professional wrapper. I can make the shittiest present look beautiful. It really is a gift.

4) What is my favorite cross training activity?
I love the elliptical. LOVE. And doing pull-ups. 

Please click this link to Marie's post if you want to see the most amazing cross-training GIF in the history of the internet.

5) If you came to visit me, what would we do?
We would laugh too loudly and too hard in public places. I would make you see redwood trees and teach you how to row. And we'd probably go to the zoo.

Our zoo has a male elephant.

6) I have two weeks off work and two round trip plane tickets to anywhere. Where would I go and who would I take?
I'd go to Indianapolis. Duh. I wouldn't need to bring anyone...Marie already lives there.
7) What’s the most embarrassing thing to happen to me during a run or a race? 
Once after a race I had taken my sportsbra off through my shirt sleeves (you know that awesome skill that all females eventually acquire?) and was hanging out in my t-shirt. It was July and insanely hot and humid. It was so hot and humid, in fact, that my t-shirt was too much. Forgetting I had nothing on underneath, I pulled my shirt over my head fully exposing my bare bosom before realizing I was flashing a large crowd. 
8) Three best days of my life? Or at least the top three that come to mind.
I can't pick my kids' birth days because someone would be left out, but all of those days were pretty awesome. I'm not going to say my wedding day because I was pretty stressed out and kind of bitchy. I'll go with: 

  1. the day I met my husband...fairytale love-at-first-sight, 
  2. the day I won trials to go to Cuba for the PanAm Games,
  3. and May 23, 2013.

9) Okay, so I HAVE to eat a fast food meal. Which restaurant would I choose and what do I order? 
In N Out, hands down. Double meat protein style no tomato...because that's all my delicate-flower, princess gut can handle. 
10) Have I ever met a celebrity?
Honestly, I feel our society is way too preoccupied with celebrities. I've met many. They really aren't, as a general rule, any more special than you are. Some are nice, some are assholes, some fall in between. Daphne Zuniga was a friend of mine when I was in elementary school. I took skiing lessons with Jodie Foster. My very close friend's dad is a bonafide movie star and I've met him several times. Does Fidel Castro count? I hugged him once. How are we defining "celebrity" anyway? Having been in People magazine and on Wide World of Sports, it might even be argued that I, myself, am a celebrity. Just kidding. No one knows who I am. 
11) Share a pic of myself in non-workout clothes.

Are you sure?

and more recently...
12) If I could choose to have a “do over” and switch careers, what would I choose and why?
I've gotten by for 51 years without a career. Aside from the no money part, it's kind of awesome. I get to play Candyland and watch Frozen multiple times a day. But if I had to pick something I would be a rowing coach. I did that for a little while. Driving around in a motorboat telling people what to do and getting paid for it...not a get-rich-quick but again, kind of awesome! 
13) If I won an Olympic Gold Medal, how do I think I would react?
Immediately post-event I'd no doubt be trying to catch my breath and dry-heaving. Then, when on the podium, I would probably smile so hard my face would turn inside out. 
14) What did I want for Christmas?
I wanted a car that wasn't broken. And a trip to Hawaii. Santa listened.
15) What skills do I lack?
Practicing humility and knowing when to stop.

Passing the award on to …

Do you hate me for that?

If you feel left out, consider the survey to be our rainbow questions and answer them in the comments!!!!!!!


  1. Thanks for bestowing the honor Milf. I can't wait to watch you waste away to nothing. It's going to be so #motivational and will probably get you a #fitfluential badge for sure!!! That means more free shit!!

  2. I really need to come visit you. I'd love to go to the zoo and I'm sure I'd be very impressed by your male elephant. I was impressed with the picture so I'd be even more impressed in real life.

  3. I am over the moon over the Cross Training gif. I do hope my answers motivate and move you all. OMG. maybe i can get some new hydration samples outta the deal!
    I am honoured for the Milfy Award! I have bestowed a Fabby Award to a few deserving tweeps.

  4. That woman and the balloon. WTF.

  5. Sorry, your elephant doesn't do it for me...But I do live in Africa!

    Now when I win the Lotto I'm coming to visit! I want to learn to row!

    PS nice ass

  6. just how good are you with a balloon?

  7. The woman with the balloon reminded me of a New Years show in SF,CA. This could have been in 2006 but what ever. It was the Sea Of Dreams experience and a performer use a long black light tube that he shallowed and his entire torso lit up!!! Like when you were a kid a you would put a flash light on you cheek and your mouth would glow, that is what is whole belly did. It was pretty cool and one of those moments of WoW, is that really happening????? Other than that, I appreciate the time you took to write this post. Cheers


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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