March 29, 2014

A really lame post except for one part. Guess which part?

Not a whole lot to share.

This is the last weekend that my hip will look like this:

un-scarred hip as seen in toothpaste-splattered mirror
Getting ready for a surgery following which I'll be in the hospital for a few days and needing to set up a team of helpers to cover my normal daily routine as a slacker stay-at-home mom is keeping me busy. People don't seem to be available to come sit on my sofa, eat snacks, goof around on the internet, ignore the kids... Just kidding. That's not what I do all day. If you want to know what I do all day, you should be following me on Instagram. That's a lie, too. I just post a lot of pictures of my food, my kids, clouds, generic shit... just like everybody else. I'm a lot more normal than you probably imagine.

For the past week I've been doing a lot of breathing with my incentive spirometer. This is supposed to help me not get pneumonia. You exhale completely and then suck air through the tube and make a little plunger float up to measure how much air you can take into your lungs. Then you slide the little yellow marker up to the highest point it reaches. That it is your target level. Optimizing health isn't enough to make me do it...I'm turning it into a competition. Don't be surprised. It's what I do. Every couple of sessions, I go for a PR. This shit is hard. I can get up to 2750. Any other spirometer-users out there? What are your numbers like? I need to compare myself to you.

I also had to get a tetanus shot...

I'm a total needle-phobe. Injections and IV's trip me out...I can't watch. But apparently I needed a tetanus shot since my last one was in 1991. I guess just in case they can't find a clean and shiny scalpel, they might need to use a rusty one or something? The injection lady was amazing...I didn't even feel it, but I saw the blood so I know she did it. I had her do my left arm because I'm right-handed. When we were done, I reached for my cane...with my left hand. While needle-entry was painless, my shoulder was sooooooo sore. I could hardly use that arm because of the pain. Walking was extra painful for a couple of days between the arm soreness and my awesome hip.

And I had a spontaneous #bloggymeetup!

It was the first time we'd met. She lives right near where one of my kid has soccer practice and, in fact, does her track workouts right there! Since she was mid-workout there was no #froyo. And of course, this could be a blurry picture of a random person that I've never actually met. But it's not.

Did you figure out the part that was less lame than the rest?

Leave a comment with your guess and the answer I like the most will win a prize. A REAL prize. Not my spirometer. I'm loving that thing. Not my femur head paperweight because that's not a done deal yet so I can't promise it. But it won't be some #lamefreeshit. It'll be better than this post. I promise.

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