September 9, 2014

Back to blogging basics: Doing it by the book

After realizing that every single one of my posts last month was a huge #blogfail in terms of this being a healthy-living/running mommy blog, I'm going to make up for it today. After brushing up on the rules of what goes into a proper blog post and creating one chock full of recycled, meaningful content, I'm hoping I've #nailedit. Let me know what you think! ;-)

*encouraging interaction in the comments: +5*
*use of punctuation as smiley winky face: +5*


I laced up my kicks and hit the trails. BlahblahblahblahHILLSLIKEWHOAblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahVERT!!!blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahWILDLIFE!!!!!!!!NATURE!!!!!blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah#NUUNHYDRATIONblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahFIGUREDOUTMYFUELING!!!!!blahblahblahblahDOUBLEDIGITS!!! BLAHBLAHBLAH.................

OMGIWORESHOOOOOZZZZZ
(an aside...I fucking hated the Brooks Cascadia7's)
*shoe shot: +20*

I ran in the WILD, you guys!!!!!
*nature trail photo with tree: +20*
capturing wildlife would be +10 per animal
though large carnivores and cows are +50 each


hill #PROOF...because this is FOR REAL where I ran.
you can trust me...it's the internet.
*charts and/or graphs: +100 if not obtained from another website*
(only +20 if copy/pasted from somewhere...techsavvy=points, people*


OH!OH!OH!OH!...annnnndddddd...

GARMIN!!!!!!!
I think this may be the very first garmin shot on this blog!!!!!
*as GARMIN shots are mandatory, they only score +5*
(omitting a garmin shot would reduce your blog post score by -50.
that's how important they are)


I forgot to photo my #nuun this time and need a macro lens to do justice to the minuscule dates I used for fueling, but my post-workout recovery meal was DELISH...

Chile verde!
SO. GOOD.
*optional shit food photo: sliding scale...+10 up to +100*
score varies based on realism...the more shit-like, the higher the score

I need help from YOU in scoring that final element. Please let me know in the comments what score you would give my chile verde :)

*again encouraging and again using puctu-emoji (see above), total: +10*


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ETA: A #bloggymeetup happened...RoseRunner, FasterBunny, Sesa, Jen, and I got together at some hipster place over Labor Day weekend. It was fun. We suck and took no pictures except at the horticultural center of the Hairy Ballsack Tree. Many thanks, Jen, for immortalizing my image fondling the family jewels. Also, we had NO #FROYO :( but we DID have slurpees :) And craft beers.

*how do I score this one? Fuuuuuuck....*
#bloggymeetup = +5000 and 
slurpees = +1000 for each person who got one so total +4000
NO #FROYO = -1,000,000
pictures...only one but we did get ONE so no + and no -
but....
#CRAFTBEERS #FTW = +1,000,001 


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Coming soon:

  • Ragnar Napa...I've been training all summer for this. What does that mean?
  • Why I entered next spring's Avenue of the Giants marathon. Totally not kidding.
  • Do I have any running or fitness goals? What do you think?

*baiting readers to come back for more: +100*

TOTAL BLOG POST SCORE =  +9356 (give or take, depending on the chile verde score)




Disclaimer: the whole first part of this post was utter bullshit (see warning in lower left corner of page). I haven't run in 20 months...trail or otherwise. I did eat some chile verde the other day, though. But that is a recycled photo. They are all recycled photos. Have a written posts JUST LIKE THIS before? You betcha...just like EVERY OTHER BLOGGER EVER. The second and third parts are not lies. A bloggy meetup did happen and it was fun. I am participating in Ragnar Napa. I did enter the Avenue of the Giants marathon. 

14 comments:

  1. The chili verde is pretty damn good…you ARE missing nutritional yeast, though, so I'm going to have to deduct a few points. AND, there is no info on the brand of food involved, so a few more off. But overall, an 85. #sogood

    ReplyDelete
  2. chile verde SOUNDS good...but that little turd left on the plate....um looks like a little turd OMG :-) dont HATE me lol :-) you hated the cascadias? why?? I think nuun lemonade would go well. or mabe mix it with tropical ....yes. perfection

    ReplyDelete
  3. You forgot to write #PROOF next to the Garmin photo, but besides that: KUDOS!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I thought the chili verde was what happened to you after your run...not unfamiliar to me at all...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I blame ALL of you for not taking a photo last weekend.

    It was way fun.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It may have tasted good but that chili verde is a disturbing colour. I'm sure I've seen that particular shade before in some of my kids' nappies.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, the funny part (or not so funny part...) about this is that it's all true. Maybe this is why my blog has failed to pay my rent...

    In other news - entering races means running is coming back?? Does training for Ragnar Napa include wine drinking? I've been doing some of that training...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe our pets think they are making chili verde when they barf on the carpet ;-).

    I want the bonus 100 points, I think you do have running and fitness goals.

    ReplyDelete
  9. YOU FORGOT TO TELL US HOW MUCH YOU {HEART} YOUR OISELLE TEAMMATES WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU -12,497

    ReplyDelete
  10. I guess for real #proof, we'd have to see the pace line on that elevation map to cross-check with your final garmin shot. But what do I know, my last blog was 8 months ago. I'd assign +90 for the recycled chile verde.

    ReplyDelete
  11. That foodshot made me feel a little ill actually :)

    Ragnar, baby!

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is so funny. But you didn't take that after run selfie where it shows your garmin + a shot of your body from the waist down and then some inspirational quote. Really, if I see another one of those I feel like I will completely lose it. Why?!?

    ReplyDelete

Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...