August 29, 2014

A hat trick post...

Blogging is so full of surprises...that last post was viewed by an overwhelming number of visitors. Nonetheless, only 0.5% cared to share their thoughts, which is always disappointing but also interesting. Blogging is all about #PAGEVIEWS, so it's all good.

Almost half of those brave commenting souls mentioned my writing prompt questions at the end of the yeah, 3 out of 7. Maybe if I'd put them in rainbow colors I'd have gotten more responses. Whatevs. Since I'm all about doing the impossible this week (see previous post white-knighting STUFTMama), I'm going to write about all three topics in ONE post in an attempt to please all of the people all of the time. I live in the moment, so "all of the time" nicely translates into RIGHT NOW. 

1. How to handle labral surgery. This is surgery of the LABRUM...not the labia. There are other sites you can visit to find out about female genital mutilation and/or labiaplasty. (not the same thing)

A photo of the Queen of Labral Recovery
prior to her injury.
Back in the fall of 2012, I was still hindered by hip pain to a small degree and wanted to take care of it once and for all. My Google medical degree and a good friend's injury experience led me to believe that a torn labrum was a highly probably diagnosis. 

Before agreeing to further diagnostic imaging, my health plan requires an x-ray. Such bullshit, I thought. A torn labrum isn't going to show up on a fucking x-ray. *snort* So around the same time Elizabeth found out she had a torn labrum, I found out I had a cartilage-free further imaging needed. Yay...not. She and I talked fairly often about her surgery and her recovery plan and life (we were both challenged by similar life issues in addition to our hips). It was very exciting to watch her come back so diligently and thoughtfully from her labral surgery. 

Whenever I meet or hear of a runner facing labral surgery, I instantly refer them to her blog. I know not all labral tears and repairs are the same, I know that we all face our own individual life complications and situations, but I found the way Elizabeth handled her surgery and recovery to be inspiring, enlightening, and beautiful. Even though I had a very different type of hip surgery, I endeavor to allow and assist my body's healing and improving as well as she did. I hope that answered your question, Gracie.

2. Karmic retribution for rolling your eyes at people with food allergies and/or sensitivities.  I am on the not-fun end of that stick. It really sucks to find yourself in this position. Karma stays strong for life's duration. She will always get you...if not early on in the game, then certainly by the end. After believing food allergies and sensitivities were some sort of ruse (except the anaphylactic shock kind that can kill you) and not holding back on stating that opinion, I find myself missing out on every single fucking #froyo meetup due to dairy issues, unable to reward myself with cupcakes after working out due to gluten issues, and never getting to even TRY kabocha squash OR purple sweet potatoes due to potato and potato-derivative sensitivity. I can't even make a damn egg-white-and-almond-flour-grain-free muffin or sneak a Filet-O-Fish sandwich (eggs and fish). As a result, I have become a firm believer in keeping my eyes focused and steadfast...not rolling. A believer, mind you. I am not always able to practice this belief. 

3. How meaningless it is to be in a magazine or on its cover. First of all, participating in a contest to get voted onto the cover of a magazine...what does that really do for you? It lets everyone know of your amazing ability to wheedle votes out of readers, friends, and family. Doing it to lift your blog readership is a waste of time. In my experience, the payoff is insignificant relative to the energy expended. (Incidentally, this goes for all of those beg for votes contest things). You wind up getting people to click on the contest's page and drive up their numbers, but your own will most likely only see a tiny, temporary spike. Maybe. 

Getting onto a magazine cover isn't necessarily a good thing, even when it's based on "merit". (see below)
you're probably wondering why I chose
the People cover featuring Jeffrey Dahmer.
 It will become apparent in a second. 
Being in a magazine is pretty inconsequential, too. Despite what all boyfriends, husbands, brothers, etc. say about their subscription to Playboy...most people aren't really reading any articles. And if they do, that info is pretty much in one ear and out the other...except for a possible brief regurgitation on a blog. And even when it's a really rad mutherfucking picture, no one really remembers it except for you. And maybe your mom and dad.

Of course the article wasn't about ME.
And Dahmer on the cover most likely detracted from our memorability.
But who could forget those snappy Oakleys?
So despite the humblebrag about being in People magazine, there are actually a few valuable takeaways from this post:
  • stop entering those bullshit contests. Nearly everyone except your mom is totally sick of you grubbing for votes EVERY SINGLE MUTHERFUCKING DAY on all of your social media platforms. It's annoying and it isn't going to net you anything that is worth the annoyance.
  • start believing that food sensitivities and allergies are real. Even if you suspect someone is using it as a way of masking an eating disorder, you don't KNOW that and your judgement will leave you (or your children) open to karmic retribution of a magnitude you didn't know existed. 
  • respect your body always...but especially after injury or surgery. Be mindful. Be patient. Be thorough. If you ignore sage advice or half-ass it or blame others for your unwillingness inability to fully and thoughtfully recover and rebuild then most people really won't want to read about it.
Yes, that really is me. 
Yes, Elizabeth really is my friend. 
No, I never DID get to try kabocha squash.

Did you have any other valuable takeaways from this post?


  1. I heart Elizabeth and look forward to meeting her in NYC....although she'll probably fly home before I even finish the damn race. I tried kabocha (at your prompting) and honestly? It's not all that. Now know how I feel about that.

    1. Thanks for the kabocha report! When are you coming to run a race out here so we can enjoy a kombucha together? Please give Elizabeth a big hug from me!

  2. I can't tell if you just slapped my hand or gave a nod to my 12 year old mind. I am with you on the food stuff. A bowl of ice cream demands I spend time alone in a sealed room for 6 hours or more, in sweat pants. And I'm not even going to start on doing what the doctor ordered stuff......gah!

    1. LOL. Interpret it in the way that feels best :) Have you tried CocoBliss ice cream?

  3. Whoa! This post was a little angry, no? Nonetheless, I am with you on the food sensitivity stuff. About a year ago, I got a nasty case of food poisoning, and since then, have dealt with serious gastritis, meaning I have to be seriously super careful about what I eat, otherwise I'm sick, bloated, and uncomfortable for a few days. It's real!

    1. I'm not sure where you picked up an anger vibe. But I'm not going to dwell on that...and hopefully you won't either ;-) May your intestinal woes find resolution. Bloat is so totally NOT fun :(

  4. So thank you for your rant on the food allergies and sensitivities. My boys both have anaphylaxis to tree nuts and the when their grade school went nut free...omg, the insensitivity of my so-called friends...they staged a cupcake sit-in and ate cupcakes in protest..well, let's just say I backed away from all of them. I also recently wrote a post my my GI issues because as I have gotten older, I've had some ahem...issues, especially while on the run. Nothing better than not making it to the bathroom in time...

    Yep, Karma is a bitch!

    ~Wendy at Taking the Long Way Home

  5. You believed that people actually wanted to drink soy cappuccinos and pay extra for the privilege of drinking inferior coffee? Yeah, I'm one of those people. Totally hate that I can't eat an ice cream without having a lactase tablet beforehand (which tastes like mint chalk and never goes with the ice cream I like)

  6. Totally agree with the Karma thing. It seems like any time I've dissed any one, Karma dissed me.

    Totally agree with the food sensitivity thing too. I don't have any yet myself but a good fries ended up with gluten intolerance. He can't drink beer at happy hour any more.

  7. When I first read one of your posts ages ago I got kabocha and kombucha mixed up. But then I realized one was just winter squash. yum. Komby can be good or really effing bad, depending on flavour. I will try it again. Even though i wand a GD froyo. Thanks for that. As for mag covers. Yeh. Well i would lose all my friends if i tried asking for all that votey help. I did a couple times. it helped me win a couple things (yay to free shit...) but its hard to go back to the well. Plus I have a thigh gap issue - mine actually - gasp - touch) so no covahs for me. Its all ok. The world ain't ready for all that damn fabulous. And I dont have a lotta food issues. But an allergy to pecans and walnuts sure as hell makes for no fun. They put that shit in everything.

  8. Commenting, not just reading, this time! A. I love Elizabeth. Met her live and in person and she is fantastic. I'm loving watching her come back.

    Maybe I am due the karma b/c I'm sorry, there still are plenty of bloggers out there who use food "intolerances" as an excuse to under eat and under nourish. And they replace those foods with scary, manufactured "foods" instead. I KNOW some people have intolerances and sensitivities. But not in the percentages that are represented in the HLB world.

  9. I came, I read, I ingested and enjoyed your musings as always....but I have no comment...but I had to make a comment this time right? I mean I can't lurk and you see those numbers and you know I've been here, and you know I didn't comment, and I know I didn't comment, and then I feel guilty and come back and jack up the numbers even more, but then I don't comment again, and around and around we go.

    (It's Monday, well it's Tuesday....I am brain dead after holiday weekend :) )

  10. Maybe you should do a post on the plethora of "vote for me get me to be sponsored by company x so i can get money from them to go do more free shit when I already blog a ton and get loads of free shit -- here lemme show you!" - wait does that sound irritated? hahahaha .


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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