A hat trick post...

Blogging is so full of surprises...that last post was viewed by an overwhelming number of visitors. Nonetheless, only 0.5% cared to share their thoughts, which is always disappointing but also interesting. Blogging is all about #PAGEVIEWS, so it's all good.

Almost half of those brave commenting souls mentioned my writing prompt questions at the end of the post...so yeah, 3 out of 7. Maybe if I'd put them in rainbow colors I'd have gotten more responses. Whatevs. Since I'm all about doing the impossible this week (see previous post white-knighting STUFTMama), I'm going to write about all three topics in ONE post in an attempt to please all of the people all of the time. I live in the moment, so "all of the time" nicely translates into RIGHT NOW. 

1. How to handle labral surgery. This is surgery of the LABRUM...not the labia. There are other sites you can visit to find out about female genital mutilation and/or labiaplasty. (not the same thing)

A photo of the Queen of Labral Recovery
prior to her injury.

Back in the fall of 2012, I was still hindered by hip pain to a small degree and wanted to take care of it once and for all. My Google medical degree and a good friend's injury experience led me to believe that a torn labrum was a highly probably diagnosis. 

Before agreeing to further diagnostic imaging, my health plan requires an x-ray. Such bullshit, I thought. A torn labrum isn't going to show up on a fucking x-ray. *snort* So around the same time Elizabeth found out she had a torn labrum, I found out I had a cartilage-free hip...no further imaging needed. Yay...not. She and I talked fairly often about her surgery and her recovery plan and life (we were both challenged by similar life issues in addition to our hips). It was very exciting to watch her come back so diligently and thoughtfully from her labral surgery. 

Whenever I meet or hear of a runner facing labral surgery, I instantly refer them to her blog. I know not all labral tears and repairs are the same, I know that we all face our own individual life complications and situations, but I found the way Elizabeth handled her surgery and recovery to be inspiring, enlightening, and beautiful. Even though I had a very different type of hip surgery, I endeavor to allow and assist my body's healing and improving as well as she did. I hope that answered your question, Gracie.

2. Karmic retribution for rolling your eyes at people with food allergies and/or sensitivities.  I am on the not-fun end of that stick. It really sucks to find yourself in this position. Karma stays strong for life's duration. She will always get you...if not early on in the game, then certainly by the end. After believing food allergies and sensitivities were some sort of ruse (except the anaphylactic shock kind that can kill you) and not holding back on stating that opinion, I find myself missing out on every single fucking #froyo meetup due to dairy issues, unable to reward myself with cupcakes after working out due to gluten issues, and never getting to even TRY kabocha squash OR purple sweet potatoes due to potato and potato-derivative sensitivity. I can't even make a damn egg-white-and-almond-flour-grain-free muffin or sneak a Filet-O-Fish sandwich (eggs and fish). As a result, I have become a firm believer in keeping my eyes focused and steadfast...not rolling. A believer, mind you. I am not always able to practice this belief. 

3. How meaningless it is to be in a magazine or on its cover. First of all, participating in a contest to get voted onto the cover of a magazine...what does that really do for you? It lets everyone know of your amazing ability to wheedle votes out of readers, friends, and family. Doing it to lift your blog readership is a waste of time. In my experience, the payoff is insignificant relative to the energy expended. (Incidentally, this goes for all of those beg for votes contest things). You wind up getting people to click on the contest's page and drive up their numbers, but your own will most likely only see a tiny, temporary spike. Maybe. 

Getting onto a magazine cover isn't necessarily a good thing, even when it's based on "merit". (see below)

you're probably wondering why I chose
the People cover featuring Jeffrey Dahmer.
 It will become apparent in a second. 

Being in a magazine is pretty inconsequential, too. Despite what all boyfriends, husbands, brothers, etc. say about their subscription to Playboy...most people aren't really reading any articles. And if they do, that info is pretty much in one ear and out the other...except for a possible brief regurgitation on a blog. And even when it's a really rad mutherfucking picture, no one really remembers it except for you. And maybe your mom and dad.

Of course the article wasn't about ME.
And Dahmer on the cover most likely detracted from our memorability.
But who could forget those snappy Oakleys?

So despite the humblebrag about being in People magazine, there are actually a few valuable takeaways from this post:

• stop entering those bullshit contests. Nearly everyone except your mom is totally sick of you grubbing for votes EVERY SINGLE MUTHERFUCKING DAY on all of your social media platforms. It's annoying and it isn't going to net you anything that is worth the annoyance.
• start believing that food sensitivities and allergies are real. Even if you suspect someone is using it as a way of masking an eating disorder, you don't KNOW that and your judgement will leave you (or your children) open to karmic retribution of a magnitude you didn't know existed. 
• respect your body always...but especially after injury or surgery. Be mindful. Be patient. Be thorough. If you ignore sage advice or half-ass it or blame others for your unwillingness inability to fully and thoughtfully recover and rebuild then most people really won't want to read about it.

Yes, that really is me. 

Yes, Elizabeth really is my friend. 

No, I never DID get to try kabocha squash.

Did you have any other valuable takeaways from this post?