July 20, 2014

Just your average "how it's going" post...

It's going GREAT. My life is quite mundane. I enjoy it, but I'm sure many people would poke their eyeballs out from the overall monotony. For me, there are hidden treasures in each and every day. Lately I've been finding lots of these treasures and so do not feel compelled to search for snarkable bullshit on other people's blogs. Perhaps I can provide shitty content for others to mock? It's anyone's guess...

Since I got back from our last camping trip, saw fireworks and wrote a blog post,  I've been busy...

1) Using my VITAMIX...

Margaritas are a SPECIAL kind of smoothie.
2) Getting FREE SLURPEES...

Slurpees are a kind of smoothie, too.
And they're free on 7-11 every year.
Worth noting in your calendar.

3) Managing 3 different drop-offs and pick-ups for my kids' camps every weekday...

Extremely cool place to have soccer camp...especially when your 9 years old.

Other side of the hills...a world away...
rowing on the reservoir.

Back to the other side of the hills (see them in the distance?)...
Right on the San Francisco Bay.
Pretty sweet place to have camp when you're any age.
I spend about 3+ hours in the car on average on any given day. The last two weeks have gone something like this:
  • out the door at 8:15
  • arrive at Camp #1 at 8:45 
  • arrive at Camp #2 at 9:00
  • drive home to fetch 3rd camper and oldest non-camper arriving at 9:30
  • leave home at 10:00 
  • arrive at Camp #3 at 10:30
  • arrive at hiking venue at 11:00 to give non-camper and myself something camp-like to do (because what's summer without camp?)
  • finish short hike and head home or do long hike and immediately begin camp pick-ups
  • leave hiking venue at 1:00
  • arrive at Camp #3 at 1:30
  • drive home arriving at 2:00
  • eat something
  • leave home at 2:30 
  • arrive at Camp #1 at 3:00
  • spend 30 minutes farting around
  • arrive at Camp #2 at 3:45 and leave at 4:10
  • drive home arriving at 5:00 (traffic is always horrible going home)
  • make and eat dinner
  • leave home at 6:00 for swimming lessons (I forgot to mention swimming lessons)
  • arrive at 6:20
  • leave swimming lessons at 7:15
  • arrive home at 7:30
  • collapse on my bed and realize why I need to get my oil changed every 6 weeks
The school year isn't as crazy because all of the kids save one go to the same school...but it's a 40-minute drive in heavy traffic to school in the morning and home in the afternoon. The drive is only 15 minutes when there is no traffic which actually does happen and is the norm for the reverse commute.

You can go ahead and give me massive amounts of grief for my seemingly huge carbon footprint...lots of kids, lots of driving...but our car runs on recycled garbage and our kids are all geniuses working on sustainability projects. No. That's a lie. The truth is we live in a really expensive region of the country and have to live far away from cool things like camps, movie theaters, swimming lessons, grocery stores and good schools in order to afford pleasant housing. You might suggest that we move, but my husband's business makes that extremely difficult. 

4) Coping with lice...which is really the most fun there is in the world. Really...it doesn't get any funner than this...

I found them on his head so we shaved him.
None of the other kids (including the girls with long, curly-ish hair)
had it...nor did my husband. But...I did. No, I didn't shave my head.
I went to a professional de-louser and got the full "spa" treatment.
5) Getting test results back that confirm my gastrointestinal situation is worse than I knew and researching how to heal it...

Plain, bland, chicken soup is good for the soul.
Or something. 
A year ago I posted about losing a ton of weight unintentionally and then gaining it (and more) back really quickly. Since then (and actually way before then), I've had some weird and significant GI issues...constipation being one. One doctor said, "IBS." Another doctor said, "Maybe it's SIBO?" So we decided to test for SIBO. While the test came back negative in terms of the numbers, the graph showed a textbook picture of what one would see for someone with a positive result.  Hence, we are treating me for SIBO. 

What is SIBO?

If you didn't click the link to Wikipedia provided above and really can't summon the energy to move the cursor up to do it now, here's a little quote:
SIBO is the accumulation of excessive amount of gut bacteria in the small intestine. Any condition which impairs the normal transit or motion of the small intestine can predispose it to SIBO.Crohn's disease and previous abdominal surgery are among the risk factors for the development of SIBO.
I did this recommended, crazy, X-treeeeme elemental diet last week to try to kill of the bad gut bacteria who've taken up residence. It kicked my ass. Plain chicken soup, plain hamburger patties, puréed carrots, grape gelatin AND THAT'S IT for 3 days. It worked. The bloating completely subsided. I wasn't constipated. I felt better once the 3 days were over. The during part was pure hell. I actually didn't eat the third day because I felt so sick. I started getting really depressed on that day because the thought of restricting my diet any further was...depressing. I cried. 

Then on Friday I saw a new doctor. Apparently my ileocecal valve doesn't work. And not only am I sensitive/intolerant to dairy, gluten, eggs, fish, and potato but Vitamin A, B complex vitamins, minerals and ... CARBS (rice, grains,...). WTF? So this guy is some kind of "wizard" who can fix my ileocecal valve AND resolve most, if not all, of my sensitivities/intolerances. I cannot fucking wait.

6) Hiking...

Last Monday's hike...
4.2 miles on a trail we've done before.

Last Tuesday's hike...
7.5 miles on a new trail.
We got totally lost for a little while and my son lost his shit.
This is the part where he was losing his shit.

Last Wednesday's hike...
9.2 miles in out-and-back format.
It was far easier than the previous day's mostly due to the
smaller hills and lack of scary cows.

Last Friday's hike...
we did a double of our normal 3-mile loop.
It felt pretty easy primarily because of familiarity.
We took the weekend off logging 26+ miles M-F and then started this past week off with a 4.2 and a 6-miler, intending to work up to a big 1-0. Then my bacterial die-off rendered me indisposed and cowering in my bed :( We're hoping to get there this coming week.

See what I did there?

Not only did I use bullet-point posting TWICE, but I plugged VitaMix, gave random life information, described my medical condition AND showed you #trailporn... ALL IN ONE POST!

I probably should enter the Runners' World Cover Contest so I can annoy the living shit out of everyone grubbing for votes, but I hate having my picture taken. And I've already done that "beg for votes from everyone you know on all avenues of social media to the point that they all fucking hate your guts" thing before...more than once. The prize wasn't worth the nuisance obtaining it caused. 

Who did you vote for in the Runners' World Popularity Contest?

Did you ever enter a grub-for-votes contest? Was it worth it?

Did you workout at all last week? Tell me about it so I can live vicariously!

Do you drive a lot in your daily life? Do you like driving? 

Do you have a big carbon footprint? Do you judge people by the size of theirs?

Was this post informative? Do you feel like you know me better? How much of your life do you share on your blog?


  1. I'm on my phone and can't be bothered to scroll up and down 37 times trying to read all your goddamn questions. But I did want to let you know that I read this. You're welcome. <3 <3 <3 #ursopopular

    1. This was the longest fucking post ever. I can only imagine how much of a challenge phone-reading it must've been. I'll bet the other three readers will just open it and go "whoa...scrolling...fuck this." I appreciate your support and engagement. And #cleavageselfies. More please.

  2. I will never complain about my drop offs again. I totaled probably 75 minutes in the car daily with two different camps and it was driving me crazy. Huge props to you for swim that late also. I hate leaving the house after dinner. It's exhausting!

    I love that you admitted having lice. I remember having it in elementary school and was scarred for life. Everytime we get one of those notes from school "A child in your child's class...." I get paranoid. I actually bought anti-lice spray for my daughters long hair! I am sure it's a scam but so far so good. Thanks for making it seem easy to deal with and less scary for us.

    1. I still get paranoid when those notes come home! That anti-lice spray works. In fact, www.fairytaleshaircare.com has GREAT products. The only times we've ever had lice in the house have been when we've run out of their prevention products. The nice thing about late swimming lessons is they've had dinner and then put on jammies when they get out of the pool and go to bed shortly after we get home...nice and tired. At least that was the idea...

  3. 1. I refuse to vote in that Runner's World contest. Runner's World is dumb. And why the fuck isn't it called Runners' World?!
    2. I re-tweeted something once to get entered in a free shoe contest. I didn't win.
    3. I ran! Hiked! Swam! Water skied! Knee boarded! Tubed! Those last three things weren't working out but they left bruises all over my body so I'm counting them.
    4. I love road trips and don't mind driving around town, but getting stuck in traffic is the worst. I don't really drive that much these days (I spend the vast majority of my time at school), but now that I'm on SUMMER VACATION I'm making a lot of plans that involve driving. I'm really trying to work on increasing my carbon footprint.
    5. This post was informative. Thank you.

    I kind of feel like I deserve an award for answering all the rainbow questions.

    1. Email me your address and I'll send you something AWESOME. You definitely win a prize for rainbow question answering :)

  4. I too had lice as a child. Hell hath no furry like seeing my mother clean like a wild banshee. I still remember her vacuuming errything.

    1. I cried the first time my kids got it. So many heads, too little time...

      I've since learned that you don't need to do a lot of the traditional things like vacuum everything, bag everything up for 2 weeks, etc. You just need to keep heads nit and adult free. Which is hard and time-consuming in and of itself.

  5. Best use of the Vitamix I've seen yet!

    I thought about entering the Runner's World contest, but I really don't have the time or desire to post multiple times per day asking people to vote for me. I'd hate myself after a day.

    I am quite jealous of the trail porn...maybe not so much of all that time in the car! (I don't own a car! MADNESS.)

    The mention of the ileocecal valve made my little nurse heart flutter. I hope it functions properly soon!

    1. I'm very medical terminology knowledgeable for a non-medical professional :) My new doctor was describing the ileocecal valve without naming it, and I said, "you mean the ileocecal valve." He stopped mid sentence, his jaw dropped, and his eyes bugged out. Like, who in the fuck KNOWS that? But I know stuff like that I've had a spontaneous pneumothorax and the resulting procedures were a pleurectomy and a thoracotomy. And I know that my epidermis is showing.

  6. I wanted to vote for something, but it said: Database Error, so I left it!
    Don't know id you want to know about my training... I still run every day, but it's slow and on the road I'm still injured! I've taken to doing hills as they are slow and I can run slow!!! 4 hill sessions last week!!!
    The schools are back today here in SA, so the traffic was bad, but I ride a motobike, so no worries.
    carbon footprint? have no clue, but we do things to save money and that helps.
    I know this isn't in order, but I do like road trips and driving... but most of them are to races and I'm not running many of them at the moment!

    1. I just read up on your...injury...I can hardly bring myself to even think the word in relation to you. Take care of it. Let it heal. Please. I want you to be able to push the pain in that "hurts so good" way instead of the horrible way.

  7. I did not vote in that God-forsaken contest because I couldn't care less who gets on the damn cover.
    I am in schlepping kids hell too, except I don't go as far as you.
    Ugh to the intolerances and bacteria already. Maybe up your kombucha consumption and rally those good bacteria. If only it were that simple, right?

    1. That would be such an awesome cure! I keep wishing the good bacteria thrived on chocolate as well :)

  8. Did you see a regular gastroenterologist? Because that is a pretty awesome diagnosis...usually if you don't have crohns or UC, they just brush you off. My experience, anyways.

    And no, I didn't vote for anyone in the RW cover contest. I think RW should just randomly pick someone. The begging for votes is starting to get to me!


    1. Within my health plan they brushed me off with the IBS diagnosis. I went out of plan and out of pocket to get REAL answers. It was pretty frustrating but I'm used to that. I had to do the same when I properly self-diagnosed adrenal fatigue.

  9. Your kids all need licences and cars. I don't care if they're too young - fake their birth certificates. Then you can reclaim a good few hours of each day. I know - I'm a genius!

  10. That 3-day diet sounded like hell. I think it's awesome if this doc can fix you but I'm sure you are not looking forward to more medical intervention at this point!

    I have cut way back on camps this year b/c I have found that if my kids are not in the same ones, all the driving kind of defeats my purpose of carving out time for me to work. So they've done one, together, and then next week they are going to my inlaws for a few days. And that's all she wrote for working time for me this summer!

    We haven't had lice yet, but I'm sure the days are numbered.

    Good to catch up and see the photo dump!

  11. Oh thank god i'm not the one who is sick to the point of vomit of the Runners World cover contest! Being out of high school & everything I'm pretty much now at the point where I only vote for people who are running for elected office.

    I always wonder how accurate the allergy tests are & how easily they get thrown off by what happens to be in your body on that particular day. I was having a bad skin rash about four years ago & the allergist sent me for allergy testing, & the results said I was allergic to eggs, nuts, dairy, gluten/wheat, & about 10 other things, none of which I've ever had any problem with. The doctor was like, "Eh, we'll just give you a big steroid shot & call it good."

  12. That diet sounds like it would be enough to kill anything off! Ugh. Kudos to you for making it through though. Hopefully this new quack will be able to fix you up :)

  13. If they fixed your hip and gut all in one year....wow, now wouldn't that be cool?!

  14. I voted for Zooey Deschanel cuz I heard she hates running. That way if she wins she's super confused. I mean, Elf was good but she's not that rad otherwise.

    I don't know what grubbing is.

    I worked out so hard that I crashed the Interwebs when I tried to load my shit on to Daily Mile.

    I like driving my mom's Corolla with the Windows down blasting NWA in Compton. Kind of like the opening scene to "Office Space" but more gnarly.

    I take a jet helicopter to the airport and then switch to the most fuel inefficient plane that is flying to where I need to go.

  15. What a fun and unique blog. Gosh, I remember those days with the kids' schedules...busy, but wonderful ~


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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