Working in reverse order here are all of my EXCUSES for #FAILING...ALREADY. Here we are, less than two weeks into the fucking year and I have to give up on all of my goals before I've even started...
#4. Being nicer. First of all, I told you to just forget it because I AM nice. And to prove it I asked you all to link your own goals/resolutions posts in the comments. NO ONE DID, MAN. WTF? So forget it for REAL. I'm just going to be my regular nice self without trying or putting myself out AT ALL.
#3. Becoming a pregnant fitness blogger. My husband freaked out when I proposed this one. I even explained to him all about page views and sponsorships and #FREESHIT. He told me ten is enough. But he said that before...back when there were only eight...and I was able to finagle 2 more. I'm thinking I might still be able to work the Cheaper By The Dozen angle, but age is a limiting factor so this one is time-sensitive. I'm not holding my breath.
#2. Different daily shitfood. My whole family has freaked out on me regarding this. I tried making something different for the family than what I myself eat...which I do most of the time anyway due to my EPIC list of food-intolerances...but they could still see it. At first they thought it was funny; now it just grosses them out and they begged me to stop. My family always comes first.
#1. Run more miles than anyone else in the whole wide world...on a treadmill...with a cane! Again, family comes first :) Spending 6 hours a day on the 'mill cuts into quality family time...as well as personal hygiene and eating and sleeping and running a household. And then there's this...
Remember when I told you about my fucked up hip?
Here's what it looks like...
|my for-real x-ray.|
what CAN I do to make this year EPIC?
how CAN I drive my page views ever upward?
how CAN I inspire my current and future readers?
what sort of INSANE bullshit can I come up with that people will want to follow?
And here's what I came up with:
Get a full hip replacement!
And RUN on it...against the advice of medical professionals!
Because THAT'S WHAT A GOOD BLOGGER WOULD DO!
Because EVERYone needs to know this shit.
Have you ever had major surgery?
–this will be my 4th. I've had a pleurectomy and thoracotomy (as part of one cutting-my-body-open event), an appendectomy and a salpingectomy. No lobotomy...yet.
Know anyone who has had a hip replacement? Tell me only the sunshine and roses stories, please!
How are your goals/resolutions (that you didn't tell me about) going?
How many kids do you have? How many do/did you want?
–we have a blended family of 10 kids...my husband had 6 before we met and we have 4 together. I always wanted A LOT of kids.
How many siblings do you have? How many did you want?
–I'm an only child. I blame my ignorance for my extreme desire to have many children.
What was the last thing YOU had x-rayed?