Pursuant to my last post regarding a full hip replacement, here's a little diagram of what they're going to do to me:
I decided I want to "shop around" a little for surgeons...as much as my health plan will accommodate, anyway. I ended up having a semi-terse email exchange with the local hospital's Head of Orthopedics after informing him that I wanted to do this. He kept coming back at me with "what do you want to know?" and "Dr. A and Dr. B do it the exact same way. Dr. C does it this other way. Same number of risks, same percentage of complications." Seriously, back and forth 3 times. Then he said, "Well, if it's a matter of picking who you like better..." as if I were attempting to create some sort of popularity contest.
All I want is the best surgeon for ME. AM I BEING A PRINCESS? Maybe I am, but Twitter assured me that this is an appropriate time to be princess-y. So I sent him the following:
Yes, I suppose I want to meet the different people who might possibly cut my body open with the intention of making it work better. I've spent 14 years trying to make sense of my hip. Being a physically active person is a large part of who I am. And I'm a people person. How I connect with a care provider will make a difference. I want to hear and see each doctor explain his view and role in the procedure. What gets cut? What gets split? How is it reattached? How is it repaired? How does he see it? Why does he do it? Why does he do it that way? How many has he done? This surgery is going to have a MAJOR effect on my life, both short and long term. Who will treat me the most like a person and not just a femoral head to saw off and acetabulum to hollow out, all to be replaced by something...different? And what will he be putting in there? What's its track record? I have faith in all of your technical abilities. It's not about "liking" really. Am I being annoying? Am I wasting your time?
His reply was:
I understand. I'll set up the consultations for you.
I have two consultations early next month and then the surgery will be another 3-4 months after that. It's a long wait, but I think it'll go a lot faster than the last 14 years.
Until then, I'll be trying to get myself in some sort of shape because the better shape you're in, the better time you have with recovery. If you're friends with me on dailymile then you know I've begun that HORRIFIC and humbling process. What's it like to do NOTHING for a year and gain 20 fucking pounds in 6 months and then try to work out again? It is absolutely whine-fest worthy. Get in shape and lose weight...two things I've never worried about before. #woeisme. HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS????
Until then, I'll be trying to get myself in some sort of shape because the better shape you're in, the better time you have with recovery. If you're friends with me on dailymile then you know I've begun that HORRIFIC and humbling process. What's it like to do NOTHING for a year and gain 20 fucking pounds in 6 months and then try to work out again? It is absolutely whine-fest worthy. Get in shape and lose weight...two things I've never worried about before. #woeisme. HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS????
I'm preparing my list of questions for the potential surgeons. One question is: will they video the event on my iPhone for me so I can put it on YouTube and the blog? If they don't have an extra person to hold the phone for the duration of the surgery, would they have someone who could periodically snap some photos at key moments? Like when they reach in the cut-open leg and pop the femoral head out. And when they saw it off. And a pic of the inside of the acetabulum before they ream it out. And then Instagram it for me? I want my people to have live-streaming.
I wonder if they'd let me keep the sawed-off femur head? It might make an excellent paperweight/conversation starter!
Ever keep anything strange from a medical procedure you had done?
–Prior to this, only my wisdom teeth. I didn't even get to see the blebs from my lung surgery, the rotten appendix from my appendectomy or the fallopian tube from my salpingectomy. Such a ripoff. I paid good money to have this shit done and I want to see the fruits of their labor!