Conversation with me and my husband:
me: I only have a sec...I'm on my way to the new PT.
him: Oh, right...the vagina lady...let me know what she does and if it works 'cuz, ya know...I'm happy to try being the vagina man.
CAN'T HE TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY????
I know you all are DYING to know what my problem is and what it has to do with vaginas. Right?
Here's the thing...I haven't talked much about my "affliction" on this blog because, quite frankly, it could so easily become a big, fat, whine-fest the likes of which the blogworld has never seen. You hear people
I really hate whining...even when it comes from me.
After almost 13 years of weird, intermittent-in-its-severity-but-constant-in-its-presence pain, I was finally diagnosed in February with severe osteoarthritis in one hip. The other one is totally fine...completely healthy. The diseased (that's what they call it) hip has no evidence of cartilage and is chock full o' bone spurs. I'm seeing a pelvic pain specialist because the hip is part of the pelvis (anatomy lesson for those of you who did NOT know that). The idea is to stave off a hip replacement.
I've tried prolotherapy (which totally helped, especially the first few treatments, but I still cannot run...I'd say without severe pain but the truth is I CANNOT RUN...not even away from a mugger or to save my kids from abduction...in fact, I cannot walk without pain). I guess some people get lucky or pray the right way or maybe kabocha really is magical...in which case, I'm totally fucked.
Last week I decided to explore something new, and the vagina lady changed my life. She showed me the light at the end of the tunnel. She gave me hope beyond all other hopes. In other words, she totally made my fucking day.
At roughly 4 p.m. PST on Tuesday, November 12, 2013, I walked four lengths of her office hallway WITHOUT PAIN OR LIMPING. I cried. Blubbered, actually. And my crying made HER cry.
I can't remember the last time I didn't feel any pain. Seriously cannot remember. It must have been last century.
The plan for now is stepped up PT with the vagina lady, my chiropractor, my massage therapist and my new best friend:
|A CANE can be a running accessory...RIGHT????|
Right along with my Garmin...
and my ProCompression socks...
and my twice-worn Hokas...
and my #sparklyskirt
Did you ever need a cane or crutches? Did your triceps get a killer workout?
– my triceps on the cane side are on FIRE.
Do you suffer from chronic something?
Does it piss you off when I post about something serious?
Do you want to try a pair of size 8.5 women's Hokas?
Do you own anything sparkly? Do you ever wear it running?
Do you know any magic prayers that might cure me in miraculous fashion?
Can you guess the last time I used my Garmin on a run?