October 29, 2013

I'm not feeling very blogalicious right now

Which means it's probably the best time ever to blog. I'm going with bullets because people love the bullets. 

• I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT RUNNING FUCKING CIM. When I posted about not having run in 7 months but throwing caution to the wind since there were still 8 weeks to train, and then alluded to a completely insane training plan, I was sure my savvy readers would be able to physically FEEL the sarcasm. But there was a comment that indicated otherwise. Of course it came from a freakishly talented, completely possessed #sub3motherrunner who probably reads blogs in which this actually happens. C'mon, Kris...I ran pushing a fucking shopping cart full of kids to make YOU laugh. You should know better by now. 

*Them's some rad links, people. Sharing the bloggy wealth with links to click! Click 'em! 
#goodblogger rule number 3 
Don't you fucking HATE it when other bloggers fail to link you when they really should?* 

• I finally broke down...I know I said I have an aversion to eating food that looks like shit, but...
Looks like a heaping pile of shit.
Strongly resemble turds.
Food-Free Shit Cookies!
I followed the same recipe as last time with a few modifications: skipped the tapioca-and-warm-water step that was used to replace eggs, used 1 cup sweet rice flour instead of 1/2 c. tapioca + 1/2 c. sweet rice flour, and added 1/4 c. cocoa powder. The cocoa powder took me to the edge. Next time I'm going over by adding a blob of Nutzo on top. I'll bet they'd look great in a kabocha boat...but I'll never know :(

And they are the BEST goddamned cookies I have ever eaten.

• From eating shit to exploiting children...I've been pretty reluctant to pimp my kids out on the blog yet, but I'm desperate for page views so here we go:
Look at how #adorbs she is, frolicking in the forest!
She's in the middle in pink...you can't miss her.
#trailrunnergirl is her official IG I.D.
Finishing out Saturday's workout with hill repeats.
I made her do 4 since she's 4.
She cried for a while, but it was good for her.
She thought she'd get out of Sunday's workout by wearing a costume.
Back-to-back long runs for #trailrunnergirl.
Planning ahead for AR50 next April.
I think if I push her hard enough she could be the youngest finisher in history.
Her meditative practice helps her focus
when her body is tired and she's really hungry.
I know it's just exhaustion talking when she starts screaming at me about wanting to just go home.

• shoe shot because it's a blog...but I'm putting a twist on it because I'm über original...

Mother-daughter shoe shot! SQUEEEEEEE!

 • and lastly, I know you wanted to see my oatmeal...it's been a while.

How many times a day to you eat oatmeal? Do you put beef in it ever? Did you know that is a real thing?

How old were you when you started running?

Do you believe giving kids an early start will help them to be more successful in sports?

Did YOU think I was serious about running CIM? 

Do you ever try recipes that people post on their blogs?

Do you ever run in virtual running events? Under what circumstances would you?


And you really should be following me on Instagram (@milfrunner) and Twitter (@milfrunner) because then you would be seeing these photos when they are hot off the press. So much happens between my semi-monthly blog posts!


  1. I hope you're sitting down. I've ever had oatmeal. There I said it.

    1. No oatmeal...no sparkle...the odds are totally stacked against you EVER making it as a blogger. How do you feel about froyo?

  2. Marcia needs to be drummed out of blogging for that! ; )

    And I am not surprised in the least that someone took you seriously about CIM. That's what blogging is all about--doing ridiculously stupid things (repeatedly) and acting like that's the norm.

    1. In that case, I have decided to bandit IMFL this weekend. It won't be pretty ;-)

  3. LMAO! You are killing me. Of course I thought you were actually going to run CIM. You had 8 weeks left and are always looking uber-fit. Now you must go run CIM because 1.) You have to kill it and 2.) So I don't look like an idiot ;)

    The idea of combining beef and oatmeal scares the bejeesus out of me but obviously you are already a better health blogger than me because you actually own rice flour.

    1. The whole "über fit" thing is all in the strategic angles of the iPhone photography...and genetics. I would LOVE to go kill CIM. I tried that once. I killed it to the 15 then it killed me :)

  4. Maybe someone (you) should do a statistical analysis and/or predictive modeling of bloggers, oatmeal, and frozen yogurt. Do you like oatmeal because you are blog? Or are you more likely to blog if you like oatmeal?

    1. Do you think I'd get any free shit out of the deal?

  5. A few things to comment on here:

    1) TODAY is National Oatmeal Day, if you a blogger of decent repute, you would have at least pointed that out.
    2) Your cookies totally look like shit, But, if you would arrange them on a rustic table top, scatter about perfectly positioned crumbs, take the photos at exactly 5:17 pm with ambient lighting only, and remove all healthy crap from them -- then, maybe they would look better. just a thought.
    3) Um, yeah I put beef in oatmeal ;-)
    4) I would never run in a virtual event. It takes the fun out of beating the slower, older, fatter people (I'M JUST KIDDING!) But, seriously, no I would not run in one. But, I did in 12th grade when I was taking PE by correspondence (boy just saying "by correspondence" makes me feel old) -- the book said go out and run 1 mile and record your heart rate and time. Um, okay, I said as I lounged out on the couch,
    5) Those pics of your muse are really really sweet -- I love them :-)

    1. Of course YOU put beef in oatmeal. And you are such a liar. You participated in a virtual race last year and won donuts that the loser host never sent.

  6. I'm lucky I'm not a blogger, but just a story teller, so I have found this blog platform to write stories some people read, but most don't...

    In winter on the weekend my wife makes oatmeal, but there is never any left over beef to put in it... however I do put chocolate in it!

    And your legs look amazing, so you can't be the Big Bad Wolf chasing Little Red Riding Hood!!!!

    I'ver heard lots of bloggers talk about virtual races, but I just don't understand... and most weekend I am running a real race!

    1. One day I will explain virtual racing to you and you will understand and you will like it.

  7. Okay...those are some adorable kids.

    1. Thanks! I showcase that one because right now she's the cutest.

  8. I think it's so smart that you're getting your kids into running at such a young age. It is never too early to instill exercise and healthy eating habits in children.
    I have to admit that I am a little disappointed that you aren't running CIM, because I was really looking for some #OMGinspiration #runningissupposedtohurt #badmotherrunner

    1. I actually started her running before she could walk...it came more easily to her. And I do plan to be a roving spectator at CIM. I am a really #badassmotherspectator.

  9. I had a feeling it was you.......now I know for sure it is.....how many people have that figured out..... The CIM report....I could tell it was you on the pics.... Hope all is well....


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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