Not only do I refuse to be held accountable for anything, but I now am going to rely on my five adoring fans (up from 3!!!! SQUEEEE!!!) to help make my #BIGDREAMS come true.
Here are my goals for the month and what you can do to make it happen for me but it's all kind of blended together so do your best to figure out which are the goals for ME and which are the directives for YOU...I don't have to write with clarity because I'M A BLOGGER:
1. RUN DISNEY!
People seem to think I'm anti-Disney because of my Goofy Challenge inquisition. I AM NOT ANTI-DISNEY. I LOVE DISNEYLAND...SEE???? (please take advantage of the extra linkings to augment my page views. I know the importance of numbers when it comes to obtaining lucrative sponsorships and free race entries). In an attempt to secure a comped entry and lodging, I've emailed Disney countless times using a variety of different email addresses and pseudonyms but the fuckers still havent replied. This feels like #CHOBANI all over again. DON'T THEY KNOW I'M ELITE???? They still have a couple of days to get back to me for the Tower Of Terror race this weekend. I'm being patient and optimistic. Feel free to email them multiple times on my behalf from all of your accounts (Hint: this is where YOU help out).
2. MAKE A COSTUME FOR DISNEY RACE!
|Anyone know where to get a |
matching purple glitter thong?
O, wait...that's my costume for Vegas.
I have so much awesome stuff that I've accumulated over the years. My husband jokingly calls me a hoarder. He's such a kidder! LOL What an #amazeballs guy :) Anyhooooo... while going through our garage, I realized I have some great winter gear that I will not likely ever use again! My purge = YOUR binge :) #symbioticwardrobebulimia
4. MAKE SOME MONEY!
So much easier than a garage sale or eBay, you guys can buy my used stuff! I've tried giving it away and that's been moderately successful. But it seems like the same 3 people are always vying for my #usedfreeshit. Perhaps if people think it's valuable I'll get more
|Genuine vintage Nike ACG apparel.|
|Does Hind even exist in the world of running apparel any longer?|
HOLY FUCK, MILFY! THAT IS SOME CUTE AND COLORFUL, RETRO 90'S GOODNESS! WILL WEARING IT AND WORKING OUT IN IT MAKE ME ELITE LIKE YOU?????
You betcha. Wearing old skool tech (using the term very loosely) will toughen the mind and body. And the previous wearer always imparts his/her aura of strength and dedication and speed into the fabric of the items thereby rendering them magical so that all future wearers become cumulatively more and more popular and cute and successful in all walks of life.
How much? you ask. How much for all this MAGIC????
$10 an item. Payable in rolled pennies. Just kidding. I think going auction-style is more exciting. We could pretend we're at Christie's or Sotheby's. After all, these are originals. Bids start....
(Hint: third chance this post for YOU to assist in making my goals achieved!)
5. GET READY FOR CIM!
I know I haven't run since early February and my leg remains pretty jacked up, but I still have 8 weeks to prep. I figure if I run every other day and increase by a mile each time I run, that would be a safe training plan. I'll incorporate mile repeats in every third run and tempo in every fifth run. I've decided that I'll forgo fueling and hydration until I get over 10 miles at which point I'll start carrying a Camelback of beer (liquid carbs...two birds, one stone). I figured the buzz would help mask the pain.
6. SOLVE WORLD HUNGER!
KABOCHA, BABY. And if that's not available, we've already discussed shit as a possible option.
7. GET 10 PEOPLE TO ANSWER MY RAINBOW QUESTIONS!!!!
What is the shortest marathon training plan you used?
Have you ever sold old clothes online? Did people actually buy them?
Have you ever run with a Camelback? With beer? With both?
Would you ever buy used underpants? To wear? How about used workout bottoms in which the previous owner was known to go "commando"?
What was the funniest movie you ever saw? Tell me the funniest part!
What are you going to be for Halloween? What was your favorite costume or the best one you've ever seen?
(HINT: your cue again)