In case you missed it, I tested "intolerant" or "sensitive" to a bunch of foods and their derivatives ...more than I imagined was humanly possible.
I know there are bloggers who blog extensively about their food intolerances, eating disorders, diet plans, whatevs...so I've been gleaning their blogs for ideas on what to eat.
The problem is most of them seem to be
One, in fact, makes cookies and other supposed-to-be-fun shit out of what appears to be actual shit. I can't go there. I'm needing to make do without so much just normal stuff, I need some things that look and taste NORMAL. I'm so fucking glad I'm not sugar-intolerant. Well, maybe I am. Who the fuck knows? I'm not letting them test me for that. Potatoes were the last straw for me.
Tonight I decided I needed cookies. REAL cookies. Not rolled up turds or date-paste-and-almond-balls. I modified this recipe to fit my needs. The changes I made were:
*soy-free Earth's Balance fake butter instead of real cow butter.
*1 tbs. tapioca starch + 1/4 c. warm water instead of egg or potato-based egg replacer. (I probably didn't need this addition...I think it made the cookies a little flat...which was fine but just not what one expects in a chocolate chip cookie)
*a 3-cup flour mixture that consisted of 1/2 c. sweet rice flour, 1/2 c. oat flour, 1/2 c. flaxseed meal, 1/2 c. tapioca flour, 1/2 c. millet flour and a 1/2 c. combo sweet rice/tapioca/flaxseed meal. (Tapioca might be a potato derivative...I forgot to check that. Fuck it).
*added 1 tsp Xanthan Gum.
|You might think I was sponsored by Bob's Red Mill...|
and that maybe they'd given me #freeshit for this post.
You would be wrong.
They turned out great. Like REAL cookies! A little on the candy-ish side and little crispier than I prefer, but no weird aftertaste or icky texture. I think if I had cooked them 10-11 minutes instead of 12, they would have been perfect.
Have you ever eaten gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free, potato free cookies? Have you ever eaten cardboard?
–I can't eat "substitute" foods that don't taste like the "real" thing. I just isn't worth it to me. But I LOVE cardboard.
Do you have any food intolerances or allergies? Are they for real or are they part of a hidden eating disorder? Or did they perhaps develop because of the damage an eating disorder did to your system?
Is the appearance of your food at all important to you?
–As long as it doesn't look like shit I'm good.
Do you like to bake? Eat baked goods?
Are you on a diet? Do you count calories and fat grams and carbs, etc.? Is it helping? How?
Have you ever been to IHOP?
–All the time when I was a kid but not since 1990something. But I know they're still out there...somewhere.
If you follow me on Instagram you got to follow the whole cookie-baking adventure. Why aren't you following me on Instagram? Or FACEBOOK? OR TWITTER????? MORE...I WANT MORE.