Sunday Seven

Okay, I'm still not ready to announce the winner of the not-so-hotly contested #HTCRelay giveaway. I'm shuffling around in my slippy-slips feeling sorry for my unpopular self. ONLY SIX PEOPLE ENTERED :( It would have only been FIVE, but I let RoseRunner in after closing because she's seen me half naked in real life. I should have asked for application videos. I probably would have had a much higher number of entrants because every blogger worth his or her #Chobani loves prancing about on video, especially given the chance of scoring more #FREESHIT! Although I guess the low turnout is probably more indicative of the fact that bloggers are tapped the fuck out on #HTCRelay and #nuun. I should have gone #Ragnar.

But I digress.  every blogger says that, right? it's part of the The Blogger Credo...Thou shalt digress and then state thou beist digressing.

It's been awhile since I've followed proper blogger format, and I'm really not into it tonight but it's been over a week since I posted and y'all might worry that I'm disappearing again (LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT, I KNOW) so here we go with some Good Blogger alliteration because it's easy and people fucking LOVE alliteration.

Seven random "best" things on Sunday. Cool.

1. Best Belt Buckle I saw all week

you know...like on the airplane?
if you have trouble inflating the life vest,
just BLOW into the
INFLATION TUBE.
GET IT???

2. Best use of sad puppydog eyes 

My son trying to get me to buy him A FIVE DOLLAR ICE CREAM SANDWICH.

CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT?

You could buy a pound of bacon, cook it the fuck up,
peel off the top cookie layer of a regular ice cream sandwich,
PUT ALL OF THAT POUND OF BACON IN THERE,
squish it back together all for LESS THAN 5 fucking dollars.

I said "NO."

And if you follow me on INSTAGLOAT you would have already been exposed to those photojournalistic gems. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???? CLICK THAT LINK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

3. & 4. & 5. 

Best Weight-Gain Journey Photos

I went on a stress-induced fast 

and dropped about 15 lbs. simply by not eating.

Imagine that!

And over the past 8 weeks, I've gained it back and then some.

Thank you, avocados and macadamias.

also before I cleaned the bathroom mirror

Same jeans with about 10 lbs more ass packed in there.

Another 2.5 lbs in each boob and
the remaining 5 slathered evenly around the midsection.

6. Best condom ad my husband shared with me

7. Best link friend sent me 

I saw this commercial and just kept going

WOW! WOW! WOW!

amazing honda commercial

I'll try to remember to announce the winners tomorrow, but that would mean posting two days in a row. I know what you're saying...

Bitch, you just phoned that shit in today. Doesn't even count. You were all gonna post every mutherfucking day no matter what. You suck. 

And you know what I say?

Yep.

Do you ever post just to post and not really give a shit what you've written? Do you think people know? Do you care?