August 12, 2013

Sunday Seven

Okay, I'm still not ready to announce the winner of the not-so-hotly contested #HTCRelay giveaway. I'm shuffling around in my slippy-slips feeling sorry for my unpopular self. ONLY SIX PEOPLE ENTERED :( It would have only been FIVE, but I let RoseRunner in after closing because she's seen me half naked in real life. I should have asked for application videos. I probably would have had a much higher number of entrants because every blogger worth his or her #Chobani loves prancing about on video, especially given the chance of scoring more #FREESHIT! Although I guess the low turnout is probably more indicative of the fact that bloggers are tapped the fuck out on #HTCRelay and #nuun. I should have gone #Ragnar.

But I digress.  every blogger says that, right? it's part of the The Blogger Credo...Thou shalt digress and then state thou beist digressing.

It's been awhile since I've followed proper blogger format, and I'm really not into it tonight but it's been over a week since I posted and y'all might worry that I'm disappearing again (LIKE YOU GIVE A SHIT, I KNOW) so here we go with some Good Blogger alliteration because it's easy and people fucking LOVE alliteration.

Seven random "best" things on Sunday. Cool.

1. Best Belt Buckle I saw all week

you on the airplane?
if you have trouble inflating the life vest,
just BLOW into the
2. Best use of sad puppydog eyes 
My son trying to get me to buy him A FIVE DOLLAR ICE CREAM SANDWICH.

You could buy a pound of bacon, cook it the fuck up,
peel off the top cookie layer of a regular ice cream sandwich,
squish it back together all for LESS THAN 5 fucking dollars.

I said "NO."

And if you follow me on INSTAGLOAT you would have already been exposed to those photojournalistic gems. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???? CLICK THAT LINK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

3. & 4. & 5. 
Best Weight-Gain Journey Photos
and dropped about 15 lbs. simply by not eating.
Imagine that!
And over the past 8 weeks, I've gained it back and then some.
Thank you, avocados and macadamias.
also before I cleaned the bathroom mirror
Same jeans with about 10 lbs more ass packed in there.
Another 2.5 lbs in each boob and
the remaining 5 slathered evenly around the midsection.

6. Best condom ad my husband shared with me

7. Best link friend sent me 
I saw this commercial and just kept going

I'll try to remember to announce the winners tomorrow, but that would mean posting two days in a row. I know what you're saying...

Bitch, you just phoned that shit in today. Doesn't even count. You were all gonna post every mutherfucking day no matter what. You suck. 

And you know what I say?


Do you ever post just to post and not really give a shit what you've written? Do you think people know? Do you care? 


  1. I would enter if you would reopen. But that's against the blogger credo, so...

    Awesome aliteration.

    Don't disappear too long!

    1. I will send you a little something special for knowing The Credo.

  2. Like Miss Zippy I have been away (racing) so no blog reading, and now I should be working, just don't tell my boss...

    I can never not eat, love food to much, and I think you look great in both pictures of your ass, but then that is what makes you a MILF...

    I just don't know what to say about the other picture... don't put on any more wieght, hit the gym and show us a 6 pack next time!

    1. Part of my allure is that I don't really give a fuck about 6-pack abs.

  3. If I needed that stuff, I would have entered, but I didn't, so thought I would let it go to someone else. How gracious am I?

    It is cool that your husband sends you condom anything. =) Sounds like something I'd send my husband....and then he'd ignore because he says I email him too much and he's busy...working and such. Hahahaha. Although, he does seem to always open the ones I send with pics of ladies with giant boobs. Coincidence?

    (thanks for the sweet comment, btw)


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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