July 7, 2013

Working out like a good fitness blogger

I don't think I've ever blogged about a workout here.

Looking at the time line...

  • Started this blog in January.
  • The last time I logged a run "workout" was in January. 
  • The last time I ran was in February (documented here on this blog). 
  • The last time I worked out was in February (UNDOCUMENTED–so did it happen?). 
  • Decidedly cruel and heartless news from the doctor received in February.
So yeah, never blogged about working out. 

Taking it a step further...not including this week, I've probably only worked out three times since January (and not at all since February). 

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING FITNESS BLOGGER AM I????that's a legit question and there will be a quiz later.

One thing I have going for me is that I've read a lot of blogs so I know what sort of equipment is mandatory for a workout and how to properly document a workout. 

What I needed to include...

some sparkly shit was a must
yes, pink clashes with red but I don't care
so fuck off.

matching pink iPod with #motivational playlist
I was sure to not check the charge so I could blog about what a fucking rockstar I was
to have to contend with a dead iPod.

the ubiquitous foot/leg shot...
taken in pasty white locker room lighting
with #merrellpacegloves to suck up to shoe company
in the hopes someone will give me #FREESHIT

product placement #hydration because #nuun is the choice of
#runningmommybloggers across the continent and
I need to give the illusion that I am part of the movement
so I can be popular and people will read my shit.
Note: I use a Garmin even for stationary workouts
because I am #heartratetraining

documented some sweaty part of my body
sweaty + gut = #SWUT

if you're not rolling, you're not blogging.
get grinding on your #foamroller STAT.
my ass is always game for a good roll

As you can see, when I went to the gym for my first-in-six-months workouts this week I was prepared. I knew you all would be scrutinizing my gear and have to know the intimate details of my training. 

The three workouts were on the elliptical. The doctor said that's okay for now. This is cool because I fucking LOVE the elliptical. I've decided to set my sights on possibly running a 5K in the late fall and training almost exclusively on the elliptical. Naysayers can suck it.

Easing back into shit because I don't want to be an over-zealous statistic like most bloggers who are injured, I started this week with 30 easy z2 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Hanging out in the gym on a machine wasn't so bad, but my heart rate was acting like I was totally fucked up on cocaine. Which I wasn't. And... my iPod completely had NO charge for my first workout. I threw a tantrum almost left without doing anything but I had scored a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT of the gym so I knew it was #MEANTTOBE so I did the #rockstar thing and worked out tunelessly on the elliptical. You can follow my #inspirational progress and see more details of my workouts on DailyMile.

Now for the quiz:
  • Is the sparkly headband a BICBand or a SparklySoulsInc. headband?
  • Name one song of the nine on my #motivational playlist?
  • What size shoes am I wearing?
  • Is there actually #nuun in my bottle? If yes, what flavor? If no, what IS in there?
  • Does anyone know what heart rate zone FOR ME that Garmin indicates?
  • What is wrong with my workout top?


  1. Replies
    1. You are probably the only person who could have answered that orange question. Why didn't you give it a go?

  2. Oh there they are! #titsofglory

    And that looks like Blue CuraƧao to me.


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