Am I achieving my goals?

Back in January, I posted my goals for the year like a good blogger should.

I included things like:

1. do an Ironman. Who am I fucking kidding? You'll need to go somewhere else for Ironman inspiration.
2. run enough marathons closely together enough to become a Marathon Maniac. Again, who am I fucking kidding?
3. kick Sarah Palin's ass. Yeah.....okay...fine. I suck.
4. stroller run. DID IT!!!!!! FUCK YES, I DID!
5. explore the world of minimal/maximal running confusion. Ugh. I got as far as alternating flip-flops and whatever running shoes were close at hand whenever I left the house for any reason. I've been living a confused-ass fucking injured life lately, folks.
6. do a Grandmaster Cleanse and go food-free for a month. YES!!! Another one I can check off! I even showed you my super skinny #asspic as #PROOF! And if you follow me on Twitter, I even showed you a #bareasspic. What???? You don't follow me on Twitter???? You don't know what you're missing. 
7. stop swearing so much. *crickets*
8. be nicer. I am soooooooooo much fucking nicer now! 
9. learn auto repair. I COUPLED MY CRAFTING SKILLS WITH A LITTLE MACGUYVER-NESS AND NAILED THE FUCK OUT OF THIS ONE! Check out the picture below.
10. learn Aramaic. I realized that Mel Gibson made a movie in Aramaic. He's a scumbag dick. I shun all things Mel Gibson. Which is a shame because Mad Max was fucking awesome.

I fixed my car with duct tape.

It looked pretty but it didn't hold past two weeks.

So then I busted out the mutherfucking twine.

Shit is STILL holding and it's been months.

Feeling pretty stoked here about my goals list. If I were a major league baseball player batting .400 halfway through the season, I would be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. I would probably be renegotiating my fucking multimillion dollar contract. 

And you can bet your ass I would have lots of offers of #FREESHIT. 

How are your goals for the year going?

Get any good free shit lately?

Do you want to know more about the Grandmaster Cleanse?

Do you swear?

What was the last thing you Macguyvered?

Did you ever watch Macguyver? Or am I the only one in the blog world who is old enough to remember him?

Notice how I made a rainbow in my questions there? Pretty fucking SWEET! I noticed that some other bloggers have started asking more than three questions, so I'm copying them. But I put my own special twist on it by making it into a #rainbow #milfluential

OH. And I am now on Instagram but don't really get it and don't really have any interesting pictures to share but you can follow me there: milfrunner. Of course.