OMFG!!! WTF??? IT'S SO FUCKING HOT!!!
–quote from Twitter
It must be global warming.
Oh, wait...
No.
It's just SUMMER.
I call bullshit on summer.
Because I waste way too much time on social media, I got confused. It's not hot where I live. I decided this past weekend that we would go to the beach because I got totally hyped by all the internet buzz about it being hot. Boy, am I dumb.
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It's out there somewhere...the glorious Pacific Ocean. I'M NOT KIDDING, PEOPLE. IT IS THERE. |
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We had to use our beach umbrellas to create a windbreak. |
We were wearing sweatshirts and jeans and were still freezing until the sun finally broke through the fog around 2. We spent a couple of hours talking about going in the water (which is around 60ºF). I finally made a dash for it–
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HOLY FUCK THAT'S COLD! This is me trying to sprint on top of the water so as not to touch it with any of my bare skin. |
I lasted about 10 minutes, most of which was spent clutching my 11-year old daughter to my body in an attempt to combine body heats (bodies' heat?) for survival.
Then I ate watermelon. And it made me colder.
And then I got warm and fuzzy from the inside out because –
#BLOGGYMEETUPSQUEEEEEE!!!!
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Too fucking cold for froyo, but I did get a photo this time :) TWO #GoodBlogger POINTS! |
Meg from Run.Fit.Kin. joined our family for the afternoon. But if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you already knew all of the above, so this whole post was a colossal (30 second) waste of your time.
Actually...
It was a 30-second waste of your time anyway.
Unless you came here for the gratuitous bathing suit photo in which case it was still a waste. But if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you got to see the gratuitous bikini pic which was not a waste and the #bareass photo that summoned the omnipresent internet porn fiends.
COMING SOON: I'll have a really overplayed-yet-strangely-desirable item for giveaway, and it will tie in with a mystery/exposé post on a topic no one really gives a shit about with a game attached...because everyone loves #freeshit and goes apeshit for a good overshare with riddles.
Actually...
It was a 30-second waste of your time anyway.
Unless you came here for the gratuitous bathing suit photo in which case it was still a waste. But if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you got to see the gratuitous bikini pic which was not a waste and the #bareass photo that summoned the omnipresent internet porn fiends.
COMING SOON: I'll have a really overplayed-yet-strangely-desirable item for giveaway, and it will tie in with a mystery/exposé post on a topic no one really gives a shit about with a game attached...because everyone loves #freeshit and goes apeshit for a good overshare with riddles.
Do you see what I did there?
- I worked links to all my social media into the post.
- I linked back to previous posts.
- I linked in a fellow blogger.
- I documented a #bloggymeetup.
- I shared a photo of myself in a swimsuit.
Remember these #PROBloggerTips for your next post. You're welcome :)
Do you ever click the worked-in links in blog posts?
Are you skeeved, turned on or "other" by porn?
Do you enjoy swimming in freezing cold water?
Are you a beach person or a mountain person?
What is your favorite joke or riddle?
If you went to the beach and it was freezing, would you just go home or would you stay and go swimming and drink beers and freeze your ass off?**note the rainbow questions again! stop ignoring them.**