June 26, 2013

A MizunOde and other haikus


annoying Twitter hashtag –
hail consumerism!


Running in the rain,
she frolics through some puddles
in soggy-ass socks.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Dog shit twixt my toes...

Broken green bottles lurking.

Barefoot running bliss.

<*> <*> <*>

Oatmeal is stringy.
Egg white cervical mucus
makes today's breakfast.

June 25, 2013

My stash...

These guys are so fucking lonely. 

They've been relegated to the garage –

Land of Hiking Boots and Galoshes.

"When will we see some action, Milfy?

they ask every day as I pass by them while schlepping the laundry to and fro.

How long is it from mid February to September?

Only about six months.


Sure beats ten years.

Being injured sucks wad.

June 23, 2013


...is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

Someone put this on Twitter. I've seen it elsewhere, too. And I think I even said it way back when I was an OBSESSED athlete.

Totally a crock of shit.

"Obsessed" is a word the unobsessed use to describe the fucking OBSESSED.

I'm not trying to say that all obsession is going to be entirely detrimental to one's life. I am saying that, speaking from personal experience and observation, a great deal of obsession is rooted in and results in dysfunction.

I caution the unobsessed and those envious of the obsessed against coveting obsession. It can be a very, very slippery slope.

This from Psychology Today –

Let us first examine the meaning of obsessions: Clinical psychologists think of them as fixations with an object, person or activity -- they are abnormal because they impair our capacity to love and work. 

The non-clinical connotation of "obsessions", on the other hand, refers to a disproportionate or unusual focus on something.

While actual obsession can assist one in reaching the pinnacle of one's chosen field professionally, artistically or athletically, one always pays a dear price. Relationships are hindered and outside experiences are limited due to the consuming nature of obsession, to name a few of these prices.

Labeling someone as "lazy" because they're calling you on your shit doesn't fly with living a healthy life.

It is entirely possible to be dedicated without being obsessed. A healthy individual can see the difference. I'm a believer is word choice. Perhaps the word we'd like to use to describe ourselves is "focused" rather than "obsessed."

But then again, OBSESSED sounds a lot more dramatic than "focused," and despite their protestations, a lot of people are more into drama than they are able to acknowledge.

Are you obsessed? With what? 
–No. Nothing.

Are you 'in recovery'? From what?
–Yes. Exercise obsession.

What does "obsession" mean to you?
–Overly focused on something (person, activity, thing) to the point of severely limiting other outside-of-the-obsession interactions/thoughts/interests/etc. Results in a narrowing of life scope as opposed to personal expansion.

Okay, so today I'm not being funny. There is no satire here. I'm just filling today's Blog Every Single Mutherfucking Day NO MATTER WHAT requirement. The point of view expressed is mine. You can disagree and tell me all about it on Facebook, Twitter or in a comment. I'll still respect you in the morning.

Cue to 1:04.

How in the fuck do people blog every single mutherfucking day?

And some people blog multiple times per day. How do they do that?


Don't answer that.

I don't EVER want to feel compelled to try it out.

Here I am on Day 3 of Blog Every Single Mutherfucking Day NO MATTER WHAT Month and all I can think of to say is that I'm giving the shitty purple socks and the killer DVD of sweaty guys in microskirts to Amy (who is extra cool because she has no blog). Go wild, girl. If you didn't win don't worry. We're moving and I'm sure to unearth tons of crap awesome items for future giveaway fodder.

Hmmmmm. Thinking – what can I tell you?

I did go to the beach today with my family, but I took zero pictures and didn't meet up with any other bloggers so nobody really wants to hear about it.

I didn't work out even a teeny bit except to load and unload the truck going to and from the beach. Big family = lots of shit when you go to the beach = a lot of work to load and unload. Nothing for DailyMile though.

I ate nothing noteworthy. Not even the licey hair in my freezer.

I did not wear new running shoes or any other running gear at all for the entire day. No gear review.

I still have gotten no free shit but I'm not surprised because I did take two months off of blogging.

The big excitement of the day is probably that everyone got sunburned because I did a shitty job sunscreening us all. I tend to neglect that, chalking my lameness up to making sure we are all getting enough Vitamin D. That's legit. We are a nation deprived of Vitamin D largely due to the Big Money sunscreen manufacturers and the chemical companies that supply them with the anti-sun stuff.

It's a conspiracy.

I know it.

I read about it on the Internet.

What do YOU think is a conspiracy?

Are you a Conspiracy Theorist?

Do you use your sunscreen regularly?

I'm getting really good at these engagement questions – and especially at choosing coordinating colors for them.

June 21, 2013

WITFF... AKA more than WIAW

Anyone can take a couple of photos one day a week and try to impress the world with their nutritious and delicious comestibles. I challenge the health and fitness blogging world to share the contents of their refrigerators every Friday using the new meme


The real challenge is in the labeling of the fridge contents using Picasa Web.

What a fucking pain in the ass.

How many times a week do you go grocery shopping?

Do you buy organic?

How much Chobani do you buy? And how much chia?

Do you prefer your Junior Mints frozen or at room temperature?

Please answer my questions. I feel like I'm blogging to the wall. Except for Marie. And WTF is up with so few entries in my kick ass giveaway? Like, a thousand people enter a giveaway for a goddamned $50 Target gift card. You still have to go to fucking Target to redeem it. I, on the other hand, will send you free shit right to your door. It's worth almost fifty bucks – especially if you include shipping. Check it out here. Enter. 

June 20, 2013

I have the best giveaways. This time it isn't used.

First of all, I gave away some Thorlo Experia socks a while ago, and for some reason I still have a pair sitting here waiting to be sent to someone. Who in the hell did not get their socks???? And why in the hell didn't you say something???? Life is too short to not be a squeaky wheel, people. Claim your fucking socks! It's the yellow pair. I'm too lazy to figure out who won them but not too lazy to go and link back to the sock giveaway post. More pageviews. It's all about the numbers, folks. Good Blogger Lesson for the Day.

Now I'm breaking all the rules and showing you what you can win before I bore you to tears with my sock review.


Gin-you-wine ProCompression socks in purple that have not been worn. And an inspirational training DVD. Still shrink-wrapped and never viewed. Way better than Jillian Michaels. Look at those abs. Look at those pecs. Look at how fucking excited he is! And he isn't the only one. ALL of the guys in this movie are ripped and yelling with enthusiasm. They must be doing something right. Notice that I'm focusing on the DVD? That's because I think it's the better part of the giveaway.

Win it all by leaving a comment. 

Now on to the review portion of our program: 

First up: CEP
MILF Runner's Top Choice for Compression

I just need a pair of Birkenstocks or Tevas 
to look like a most excellent American tourist.

*An outstanding feature of these socks is they help me tell right from left –
assuming I put them on the correct feet.

*A pain in the ass feature of these socks is that you have to put the R sock 
on your right foot and the L sock on your left. These socks are really
compression-y so if you fuck up it is really NOT fun to switch them.

*Another downside: the bottoms of these socks are lint magnets. They 
attract everything that isn't attached to something – hair, lint, string, 
dirty laundry that's been left on the floor...

Look! I did it correctly!

 Second Up: Swiftwick Fold-overs
MILF Runner's Top Pick for Fashion While Also Providing
Awesome Compression

I like that white makes my calves look like they exist–black is too slimming.
And the fold-over adds a little bulk and horizontal striping 
to accentuate the false plumpness of my calves–
in addition to providing extra compression.

Not only do I prefer these for racing, but I think I've figured out my Halloween costume –

I'll be able to trick-or-treat in comfort.

Last Up: ProCompression
And the reason why I'm giving these away

Fun colors.
But Target has colorful knee socks for five bucks.

Not impressed with the compression.
That might have something to do with the fact that I have the 
scrawniest calves on the planet.

But they are very comfortable with my new boots.

Yes. That is a Lightning McQueen Croc. 
So fucking rad.
You know you want some.

The Crocs are not up for grabs.

I'm offering the brand-new, I-paid-for-them-by-myself ProCompression S/M purple socks and inspirational workout DVD in this giveaway.

Enter to win by leaving a comment. My mind-reading skills are awesome but not 100% reliable.

Additional entries can be earned by liking my Facebook page and/or following me on Twitter.

Act fast because this shit ends Friday night at 11:59 pick a time zone...because let's face it, does it really matter?

FREE SHIT. Everyone wants some.

June 18, 2013

Food, Drama, and a Gratuitous Ass Photo

I contemplated waiting until Monday before attempting to post something – going for a month between posts sounded like good spacing – but then I made something so fucking awesome for dinner that I had to take a picture of it and share it with the world.

No, it wasn't oatmeal.
Picture please?

To be quite honest, part of why I haven't posted in so long is that I am so ashamed of my abysmal oatmeal consumption – as well as the fact that I have not run (or done anything fitness-related) since...ummmmm...February? Wow. In fact, not only have I done nothing fitness-blog-worthy but I haven't even read a blog since forEVER. I have missed so much prime blog fodder – including IHOP's anniversary and the scandal at Jamba Juice.
So where's the fucking food picture?

Not sure why I hesitate to blog when I have nothing to say. That doesn't seem to deter other bloggers. Perhaps that's how they're able to blog every single mutherfucking day. Maybe I'll make July "Blog Every Single Mutherfucking Day No Matter WHAT" month.
Are you going to show us your fucking dinner pic or what?

Okay. Here's what I had for dinner –


No nitrites or nitrates, of course.

With avocado, heirloom tomatoes, Micro Mix sprouts (kohlrabi, red cabbage, tatsoi, mizuna and arugula). Freshly ground sea salt and black pepper.

Chia optional.

And because all that stress really stressed me out and took away my appetite and made me lose about 10% of my body weight (see skinny ass below),

I finished the meal with a half-pint of high-fat, coconut milk-based ice cream. If you suffer from stress eating, I'd try upping the stress level to the point where you feel nauseated at the mere idea of food. Or we could try some stress-reduction techniques. But there's no drama in that – and we bloggers thrive on drama.

Do you have a dramatic life?

Do you have a skinny ass?

Have you ever been injured?

Do you ever find yourself blogging when you really have nothing worthwhile to say?
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