Mailbag Monday #7

This week we have two legit questions...


MILF Runner,
Here's a mailbag Monday question, why are running blogger "coaching services" SO expensive?? More expensive than professional running coaches with years of experience and success... Is there something I'm missing? Do they know more than the pros???? Do they have magical powers?! I'm not sure I understand the price premium... Since you are the healthy living/running blogger expert, please explain this to me. 

–(Posting as anonymous b/c it seems to be an unforgivable, attack worthy sin to question their credentials.) 


Dear Anon,

Obviously, you are not aware of how fucking #FITSPIRATIONAL most of these running bloggers are or you wouldn't be asking this question. These people have trained for HOURS to be the best they can be. They've put in the miles while pushing heavy strollers, and they've read the coaching handouts. They've PRed in races and attended seminars. THEY'VE EVEN TAKEN A FUCKING TEST! When was the last time any of us took a goddamned test? The stress alone is worth charging the big bucks. Most of the pros just have hands-on experience instead of an official piece of paper indicating that they went through the god-awful ordeal of taking a test.

What's more, bloggy coaches tend to be RELATABLE and can RELATE. They are fresh off that sub 2 or sub 4 and KNOW what it feels like to hunger for it. It's so fresh in their minds that they remember exactly how it felt. Or they are still hungering for it and so can REALLY relate to what you are wanting to accomplish and the fervor that accompanies the undertaking. Pros are so far removed from the experience, really, what do they know? They are totally out of touch with the reality of the situation.

Or maybe they charge a lot because they have so few clients they need to recoup their coaching lessons expenditure somehow and pay for their sparkly skirts?

I'm so fucking glad I don't care. I can get by with a good training book, an online schedule and common sense. I think it's that third part that is so elusive to most.

Do you need a coach? I would be an excellent coach. And I would be FREE. To the first five interested parties. After that, it's going to cost you.

Sincerely,

MILF Runner



MILF Runner,

TOENAILS. Let's talk about my franken-feet for a moment, can we? I now have fewer legit toenails than I do remnants of where toenails would look really nice. I relish the thought of going in for a pedicure, but I'm pretty sure they would not be willing to offer me a half off discount for the remaining toenails that need some serious help. {focus, sheesh!} Ok, so my big toe has (mostly) grown back. But it's no longer sits flush against my nail bed. At all. Short of sending you a picture... have you seen a toenail that looks lifted because it has a blister under it? Or a nail that you can lift off the nail bed a good 80% without completely pulling it off? Yeah, that's kinda how my toenail is, but it's neither blistered nor about to fall off. I think it may have blistered in the past, but then a callous just grew under the nail instead of the nail falling off. Are you with me? it's a bit problematic because A. It's freakin' ugly & B. when the sides grow out, they grow inward so I have ingrown nail issues. Crap, what exactly is my question... I guess, how do I "help" it grow back into a regular nail?


Signed,

Melissa



Dear Melissa,

Honestly, I haven't a clue. Maybe your shoes are too small? Or maybe your feet feel the disdain you express for them? Perhaps they don't like being referred to as "franken-feet"? Baby your feet. Show them some love. That might help. But it also might not.

Sincerely,

MILF Runner