February 11, 2013

Mailbag Monday #6

Got a really good one this time. I like it a lot because I get to talk about ME!!!!  And I had fun searching for old training schedules and remember the good, ol' days.

Dear MILF Runner

I was wonder if it was your running that turned you into a MILF, and if so what does a running week in the life of a MILF look like...

Coach Dion

Dear Coach,

Honestly, it's genetics.

Admittedly, I supplemented by laying some groundwork early on in life. I goofed around pathetically with a number of sports in high school and had done a stint as a (very lame) figure skater before that, but regular exercise is regular exercise. 

I found my athletic calling in college. I took that about as far as I could (exhibit A) before being felled by a drunk driver, tried to unsuccessfully stage a comeback (exhibit B), and then turned to running (exhibit C).

Subsequently, I had about a bunch of kids and took a whole lot of time off of all forms of exercise. I know some people work out with kids. More power to them. I knew myself. I didn't want to let my family ever lose out on anything because I was an obsessed maniacal athlete. Never did I want training to stand in the way of anything familial, and I knew I was not yet mature enough to figure out how to effectively juggle the two.

I got to that place a couple of years ago and started running again (exhibit D). Right now I'm on the DL and fervently trying to get back in the game intelligently and sanely (exhibit E). 


Here are some views into the training life that created MILF Runner...

Exhibit A (a random February...year to year, the monthly training cycles tended to follow a pattern)

Monday             20-30' warm up
                           4 x 10 min progression (4'+3'+2'+1' building)     HR max-10   6-7' rest

Tuesday            AM: 10-20' warm up
                                    45-60' w/ 40 sec. accelerations every 10 min HR 140-160
                           PM:  20'  warm up                                                  HR 140-150
                                     "back" weights 40-60% load/3-4 sets/60-80 reps aim for 30 reps/min

Wednesday        10-20' warm up
                            3 x 25' (pyramid intensity 1'/2'/3'/4'/5'/4'/3'/2'/1')   HR 140-160  5' rest

Thursday            AM:  20-30' warm up
                                       4 x 5 minutes                                               HR max-10     5' rest
                             PM:  20' warm up                                                  HR 140-150
                                      "legs" weights  same load/sets/reps as Tuesday, diff. exercises

Friday                  see Wednesday

Saturday              AM:  20-30' warm up
                                        3 x 20 minutes                                              HR 160-175     5' rest
                              PM:  20' warm up
                                        "arms" weights same as Tues and Thurs, diff. exercises

Sunday                See Wednesday

Exhibit B

Similar to but a little different than Exhibit A, and I remember adding in this killer weight circuit workout for 4 weeks:

Bench pull 5 reps
Leg press 10 reps
Bench press 5 reps
Squat 10 reps
Pull ups max
Military press 5 reps
Leg press 10 reps
Bench pull 5 reps
Leg extension 10 reps
Bench press 5 reps
Bench pull 5 reps
Leg press 10 reps
Bench press 5 reps
Squat 10 reps
Pull ups max
Military press 5 reps
Leg press 10 reps
Bench pull 5 reps
Leg curl 5 reps
Bench press 5 reps

Doesn't look all that challenging, you say? How about if I tell you that you're given 60 seconds per exercise? Still sounds kind of easy? How about if I tell you that you are supposed to do the reps in 45 seconds and then do negatives for the last 15 seconds? And then when I tell you that you are supposed to MAX OUT at that number of reps in 45 seconds and follow with negatives for the last 15 seconds you start to squirm a little. But when you realize that you are maxing out every exercise for 20 exercises straight you understand that this is a KILLER workout. If you can do more than 5 reps in 45 seconds, you up the weight until you can't. As soon as you can complete the specified number of reps in the 45 seconds, up it goes.

You get strong. Really strong.


Exhibit C    (4 wks out from marathon) 

Sunday          22 miles, mixed road and trails (3.5 hrs)

Monday          1 mile, easy + stretch followed by weights

Tuesday         5ish miles, 3 x 1 mile on/1 min off (6:11, 6:08, 6:10)

Wednesday    easy 10 min cardio followed by weights

Thursday        9 miles, hilly paved trail

Friday              2 miles, easy

Saturday          OFF


Exhibit D   (typical week from last fall) 

Sunday               8-10 miles, trails

Monday               cross-training, 45-60 minutes

Tuesday              3 miles, road

Wednesday        cross-training, 45-90 minutes

Thursday             3-4 miles, road (maybe hill repeats)

Friday                    OFF

Saturday              cross-training, 60-120 minutes

I might switch these around or miss one or two, depending family needs or body issues.


Exhibit E  (my current "training" regimen...and it makes me so, so, so sad)

Every fucking day is the same. Do some piddly shit PT exercises that DO help so I shouldn't speak of them disparagingly, I suppose. Walk around a little bit. Maybe ride my bike. Go crazy.


There you have it. The makings of MILF Runner. I hope this was easy enough to follow.

A little personal feedback on these – Exhibit A's Monday workout was my most reviled...I would always try to weasel out of this one. Try being the operative word. Exhibit B's weights workout was my FAVORITE workout EVAH! Exhibit C – mile repeats...YUM :)  So obviously, hill repeats in Exhibit D got the nod. And Exhibit E just sucks shit through a straw. 


MILF Runner

Was that super confusing? What would you find the hardest of all these workouts? What is your favorite workout? What is your most dreaded workout? Do you try to weasel out of it?


  1. You are a bad ass. I think. That's all greek to me.

    1. Yeah, it's confusing. Mostly the first two exhibits. A little info: the Monday and Thursday workouts think "between mile and 5k pace" and the Saturday workout "between 5k and 10k pace." Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday solid base-building intensity. The weights during that training period were low-weight/high-reps.

      What else can I clarify? :)

    2. She's not a bad ass, she's a sexy ass!!!!

  2. With training like that you can turn anyone into a MILF...

    I have been running hard for 2 long to be scared of any sessions, but I do love 400's and lots of them, I hate it when I have to back off because of a race. but I'm a hill runner, and you can find me running hills in the morning, in the afternoon and on Christmas day!

    The Wednesday session in Exhibit A is just to much for me 75min hard!!! My wife would kill me if I spent that long at the club... how long does a session like that take? 2hours?

    1. Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday were all the same. They weren't bad at all, with HR only 140-160 (remember this was in my "youth") so mostly in Z2-3 except maybe that middle 5' in each piece. The real ass kicker was Saturday's anaerobic threshold workout. The 3 x 20 at AT w/ only 5 min to catch your breath was brutal. It took me awhile to really learn how to do it. W, F, SA and SU all took about 2 hrs with warm up and cool down. But after Saturday's, you literally crawled to the locker room on your belly and hoped someone would drive you home. I remember walking my bike home after that one sometimes. Pretty much no one was married. That would really complicate shit.

    2. I was once young and unmarried too and we did sessions like 12 - 10 - 8 - 6 - 4 - 2 mins hard with 2min easy inbetween, nothing about HR, just hard.. Then I remember one 3:20 flat out, then after a 5min break it was use that distance and run it in 3:40, 60sec break and again till you couldn't get back... I called it a day after 15...

      3 x 20min could be fun, I have the guys doing 2 x 5km, none of them would want to do a 3rd...

      I have also bummed lifts home after sessions...

  3. I just ate a bunch of Pringles. Can we still be bloggy friends? I don't know what I just read, but I know I feel like working out tomorrow. No joke.

  4. Wait a second - "felled by a drunk driver?" I feel like there might be a story there... most casual reference ever. AND it made me laugh. Kudos.


Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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