Used Free Shit this time around is –
SOCKS!!!!!
Much like that used sports bra Micki won last time, these socks are in immaculate condition. I only wore them each one time. They were all too small for my size 8.5-9 womanly feet.
I've heard people LOVE these socks. They felt really good on my feet, but the stupid backs kept sliding down under my heels because my feet are just too big. When the fuck did that happen? I used to wear a 7.5, but I guess that was before I had kids. And before I had spent another 20 YEARS on my feet. Body changes, y'all. Embrace them. It happens to ALL of us.
SOCKS! GIVE ME SOCKS! MY FEET ARE SOOOOO FUCKING COLD!
Or something like that. But I'm not going to get that you want to enter telepathically, so you do have to leave a comment. So scary, I know.
About DailyMile.
WTF, DailyMile? Y'all shouldn't send this automated shit out to people because you never know what sort of NERVE it might hit.
Yeah, I really want to post my first fucking workout but
I'M INJURED, KELLY AND BEN. THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN!
Fortunately, this week I'll be able to do some sort of exercise and then I can post my FIRST FUCKING WORKOUT, KELLY AND BEN – ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? Of course it will probably be a 5-minute walk and some weenie leg press. Which won't make ME happy. Or rather, as happy as I'd like to be.
How do you stop yourself from going crazy when you can't do something that's a very important part of your life?
First I watched all the Men In Black movies. Now I'm on the Die Hard movies. When I finish those, I'll move on the Bourne movies. Eventually, I probably work my way down to the Mary Kate and Ashley movies. If it comes to that, look for some wicked movie reviews and giveaways. Used #freeshit of the very best kind. Definitely good reasons to stick around ;-)
Edited to add: Guys, I feel like I'm totally letting you down with these seemingly sexist giveaways – all female items. But I am a woman so the shit I use is mostly women's. However –
1.5-ounces of slippery goodness
I found this once-used bottle of 2Toms SportShield! Guys can use this, right? So what if it's slightly unhygienic to share, the one time I used it was last fall, and I'm sure that if any cooties got on the roller ball they've long since died. Since I won't be doing anything chafe-inducing for quite some time, let's give this shit AWAY!!!!! Leave a joke in the comments that has to do with something slippery or slimy. Bonus entry if it could be deemed inappropriate for mixed company.