Reading about the Goofy Challenge and all the prep stories and race recaps in BlogLand got me thinking – Am I the only one who doesn't really get it? I decided to see if anyone else was as puzzled as I, so I pretended to get it and had this "test" conversation:
Me (to my kids on the way into school this morning): Hey, guys – so I'm thinking of going away for a few days over the weekend.
Older daughter: No way, mom. I will miss you too much!
Younger son: Why? Where are you going?
Oldest son (smacking a brother): Get off of my side! Mmmmoooommmmmm! He is totally ON MY SIDE!
Smacked brother: OWWWWWW! I am NOT on your side. (Returns the smack. Vigorous and reciprocal brother-smacking ensues).
Me (over what is now a huge brouhaha): HEY, YOU TWO! KNOCK. IT. OFF. I'm talking here. I'm going to Disneyland next week. Well, Disney World, actually.
Oldest son (breaking the silence): We're going to Disney World next week? Holy crap.
Me: Watch your language. No. I'm going without you.
In all of their minds but not said aloud: Why in fuck's name would mom want to go to Disney without us? (That's me paraphrasing. They don't know that word – at least as far as I know)
Me (reading their minds and answering the question because I'm a great mom and all great moms are mind-readers): I'm going to run 39.3 miles in the parks and along the back alleys and down the service streets. It's a special thing that costs about $350.
Younger son: It costs $350 to go to Disney? That sounds like kind of a lot. Is it?
Me: Noooo! It costs $350 to run 39.3 miles through Disney World and around on the side streets and access roads! I'm not going to the park part – except to run through it! Sheesh. It would cost at least another fifty bucks to go inside for fun. But doesn't that sound cool? Running 39.3 miles going into the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT and then through the parking lots and on the secret streets between and around the parks?
Older daughter: Doesn't sound cool. Sounds like a total waste of a trip to Disney to me.
Smacked brother: Why would you even want to go just to run past all the stuff? Without us? That's stupid.
How do I respond to that? How do I tell him it isn't stupid? I somehow don't think it will matter to him, or any of them, that it's
39.3 MILES IN A SPARKLY SKIRT!!!!
That's it, right?