January 11, 2013
So where's all my free shit?
Before I started blogging, I read lots of blogs. All of those bloggers were always talking about swag and sponsors and sponsored giveaways. One of the main reasons I started this damn thing was the seeming promise of tons of free shit.
I've been writing this blog for a whole fucking week now. A WHOLE WEEK. And no free shit.
I want some fucking compression socks. I don't give a shit who makes them – is there really a difference? I'll say whatever you want. I just don't want to pay.
Headphones. I want those ones you screw into your earholes. Those ones all the cool bloggers got for free for the San Francisco Marathon. Why can I not remember what the fuck they were called? Yurbuds!!! That's it!
Doesn't Subway give free shit to bloggers? Give me a sandwich. And POPCHIPS! Don't forget my free fucking Popchips.
Oh, and I need a medal hanger because that shoebox of medals under my bed is getting pretty durn full. I'll bet that medal hanger comes in a bigger box than the one I'm using right now.
I know everyone and her sister got one of those Handful bras. Everyone and her sister with little boobs, that is. I'll definitely be passing on that item.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Sleep Number beds – not sure what I'll do when they finally realize they want to give me one for free. I know they get great reviews for sleeping, but what about other stuff? It's an inflatable bed, right? How active a lifestyle can it handle before popping?
Oh, shit, I almost forgot –
Where in the fuck is MY GOTEIN?????