But also by how happy I am that our household is now growing our own almonds and how happy I am that we, as a family, have resolved to be more in sync with nature and our bodies and other paleo shit, like rocks. And then this thought of that resolution triggered another thought – probably because I was wearing my sparkly skirt:
HOLY SHIT! I HAVEN'T SHARED MY RUNNING/FITNESS/HEALTH GOALS FOR 2013 WITH MY NEW BLOGGY BFFS!
- Do a whole Ironman triathlon at the end of the year. I used to love going to the beach when I was a kid so the open water swim should be a piece of cake. I still like riding my bike a lot. Sort of. And I know how to run. It just seems like a no-brainer to put the three together – I may need to change the title of this blog to "Tri MILF"!
- Run enough marathons closely enough together to become a Marathon Maniac. That would just be soooooo cool! After completing the Couch to 5K program last fall, I feel ready to go for the Big One. And if I'm going to train for one, I might as well cram in as many as I can so I'm not wasting miles. Furthermore, I can use all of those marathons as part of my Ironman training! Win-win!
- Run a sub 4-hour marathon and a sub 2-hour half-marathon – because I want to be just like Sarah Palin. Actually I want to kick her ass.
- More stroller runs. If I'm going to get stronger and faster, I've read on other blogs that pushing a stroller is the way to go if you have kids. It will be epic because my kids are so fucking big. If I can't find a stroller big enough, I may just steal one of those multi-kid carts from Target.
I took this picture myself tonight.
If you borrow it and don't credit me I just might sue your ass.
- Alternate minimal/maximal by running barefoot one day and running in Hokas the next because I heard some top trainers say that confusion makes you better.
- Go food-free for a month. I need to clean out my system. Going without food for a month will be like hitting a giant "reset" button and really clean me out of all toxins and intolerable shit like gluten, dairy, eggs, sugar, caffeine, etc. I'm going to try the Dragon Warrior Diet – the dew of a single ginkgo leaf and the energy of the universe. I think Oprah tried this one.
I do have other goals, like don't swear so much, be nicer, learn basic auto repair, become fluent in Aramaic – just the usual shit.
Did you set goals for 2013?
Don't tell me what they are because I don't really care.
*Update: Fuck the Ironman thing. You have to wear a fucking helmet for the bike part – even if you're over 18! And each stage has a cut-off time! WTF??? Such bullshit. Besides, my sparkly skirt would probably get all bunchy inside the wetsuit. I'm not doing it.
**New update: I just realized that my therapist would flip out if I told her I was doing anything "maniacal," so in the interest of living a balanced, healthy and functional life, I'll be passing on #2.
***Final update: I meant no disrespect toward the former Governor of Alaska, but the bitch is going down. Maybe.