January 28, 2013

Mailbag Monday #4

I yearn for the day when someone emails me and gives me a legit question for Mailbag Monday. Who will it be? Who will the lucky person be? I say this because there might be a prize. Not a used sports bra because I already got rid of that, but I have lots of random shit to give away. Who wants some? Where did you go purpletoenails? How about one of my trusty, regular commenters – Coach Dion? Patrick Mahoney? MegG? Momplex? Get in on the ground floor while the getting's good. Email. 

What this means is we yet again have a fake letter from a fake reader. I AM SO TIRED OF FAKE –


Dear MILF Runner,

I've noticed an increasing amount of buzz recently about how great chia seeds are. Just wondering what are your thoughts on chia?

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Chia Curious


Dear Curious,

Chia has been awesome for decades. I fucking LOVE chia. Catchy jingle. Cute product. What's not to love?



Am I seriously the only person who goes here when the healthy blogworld starts the chia talk?

Okay, okay. Honestly, I tried eating (drinking?) chia once. Though I hear and really don't doubt that it is amazing, I cannot speak to its health benefits from a personal standpoint because I couldn't get past the texture to try it more than that one time. My limited perspective can only provide you with this: Think – sucking down a glass of someone else's phlegm. Or a cup of jizz. Since the health-boosting properties of the former are unsubstantiated, chia is probably more similar to the latter, whose benefits are well-documented. The latter is, however, possibly more cost-effective and more enjoyable than chia. That said, if someone were to offer me free chia (#freeshit! YES!), I'd probably give it another shot because 

You know, if you muscle your way past the gag reflex, all kinds of food possibilities open up.
–Emile the rat, Ratatouille (2007)
And also I'm getting desperate for some free shit.

Sincerely,
MILF Runner


19 comments:

  1. I can't believe that you are not getting email. I get so many offers for penis enlargement, iPads for 37 cents, online diplomas, and hot chicks waiting for me to call that sometimes I feel that may get too much email.

    I must be, in fact, special. Who knew?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know! I get a lot of views but no emails. I think I freak people out. Happens to me in real life, too. You could email me. You could make me feel special.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm new around here so I'll send you some email - what kind of questions are you looking for? :o) I guess I'm kinda special like RockStarTri because I get lots of those emails too...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am feeling SO left out now!

      I'm not looking for any specific kinds of questions, just ANYTHING at this point! It's hard to keep making them up!

      Delete
  4. I put China seeds in my Swiss Chard/ cucumber juice every morning. (Yes- i live in boulder) I bought the bag of that shit a year ago and need to use it up. I have a question. I'll email it to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How much do you put in? I'm thinking I put too much in. It was so slimy and viscous – mmmmm. Hey! You could do a leftover-chia-free-shit giveaway! And please don't flake on the question – you've gotten me all excited now!

      Delete
    2. just a teaspoon of chia seeds and let it set for not more than 5 minutes.I found I kinda like the slimy and crunchy texture. Plus it makes me *think* I'm eating good stuff. ;)

      question sent!

      Delete
  5. Chia bread is good. I get a few reads, and fewer comments. No email to speak of, but then my ISP has pretty good spam filters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baking with chia! Awesome. Does it lose any of its superpowers in the heating process? You don't get any free shit offers either? IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!

      Delete
  6. I haven't thought of any good questions yet! I'll get back to you. I've also tried Chia drink once and similar to greek yogurt, oatmeal and photographing every single morsel of food I eat, I just cannot support this bloggerworld phenomenon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What didn't work for you regarding chia? Did you think what I thought? And fuck yes! Wednesday I will photograph everything I eat! THANK YOU, MegG(which stands for Goddess)! And how fucking perfect!!!!!! WIAW!!!!

      Delete
    2. I just thought it was weird to drink seeds and while I didn't immediately think jizz, I did think "blargh, this is thick". Can't wait to see your poop on a plate, uh, I mean, "OMG that is so amazing, can I have the recipe??! " concoctions.

      Delete
  7. I know nothing about Chia seeds, but I do drink red wine and I find that had turned me into a great runner, maybe not a fast runner, but a great runner.

    Now I find myself looking around my desk looking for chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're missing out then, on an opportunity to be a mystery shopper (one of my latest offers). All you have to do is give your bank account number and deposit $200 and off you go!

    I do throw chia seeds into my smoothies. They are pretty innocuous there and I am hopefully getting the omega 3s, etc. that they are supposed to offer. Who knows.

    Please do a post soon on how everyone has cut everything out of their diets BUT chia seeds. Seriously, I am the only living athlete who is still eating wheat. And dairy. And meat. And....

    ReplyDelete
  9. You said "jizz"...Me likey this place! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Get the dry ones and sprinkle them in yogurt or grind them up in a smoothie. I bought chia kombucha once and gagged til I almost died.
    I had a chia pet as a kid. Loved that freaking thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was it!!! Chia kombucha! GAGGGG!!!!

      Delete
  11. Chia seeds blow. It's just one more marginal product being pushed by some assholes who couldn't hang with the real players in the processed foods industry. Their parents are pissed, student loans aren't being paid and so the only solution was to move to Boulder (or some other Vibram 5 Finger infested town), stop bathing and pimp yet another "healthy" foodstuff. Problem is, the world is running out of cool foods to pimp. I realize that most of us are Americans and thus think we live in the world of infinite bounty. But that shit ain't true, and chia seeds (along with NUUN) fall on the wrong side of the curve.

    By the way I don't even know what the fuck kombucha is and I'm still gagging. I don't think it was the seeds, homegirl. And we don't want you to die.

    ReplyDelete
  12. PS how do I get a cool nickname like Momplex or MegG...is that all on me?

    ReplyDelete

Say it. But if you can't own your shit, don't dump it on me.

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